Teen Suicide is Increasing

The report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is grim: There has been a substantial increase in the suicide rate for children over the past four years, including a 76% jump for girls aged 10 to 14 (roughly, one in 100,000). The preferred method, according to the report, is hanging.

The question is: Why is there such an increase? Some health agencies suggest the proliferation of anti-depressants among young people (these are known to increase the risk of suicidal behavior), while psychiatrists see family or social dysfunction as a cause. However, physicians say it's due to increased pressure to lose weight and become more attractive.

Whatever the reasons, the simple fact of such a tremendous increase should be alarming to all parents, no matter the gender of their children. Suicide is the tragic and ultimate result of uncontrolled and intense negative emotion.

Those two facts being stated, what steps can we as parents, guardians or teachers take to reduce the risk of suicidal thoughts stalking our children?

First, they have to see that we are stable in our own personal lives. If they hear constant arguing, threats, screaming or other verbal abuse, they're more likely to feel hopeless and unimportant. If they see a lack of healthy, positive activity, they're apt to see life as boring and uninteresting. If they observe drug or alcohol abuse, they'll either grow to distrust us or accept the chemicals as an escape from their problems; chemicals that, in fact, can accelerate depression and angst and cause a more impulsive response -- including suicide.

Secondly, we have to realize that our children need someone with whom they can openly, honestly and safely communicate. They have to know they can trust us with their problems, and we need to be impartial and listen for as long as that child needs to talk. Since many suicides occur because the victims feel as though no one understands their plight, being genuinely interested and non-judgmental is essential. We have to be able to see things through a child's eyes and, when necessary, offer uplifting advice tailored to that child's thought pattern.

In speaking with a young person, especially on a sensitive topic, it's helpful to use similes or metaphors; find a common situation or subject to which the youngster's plight can be compared. Often, a child will respond to a mental picture you can paint rather than just a bunch of facts and figures. The discussion should be held in a private or, at best, controlled setting. Discussing their problems in a public place like the mall can embarrass the child as well as defeat the entire purpose of counseling.

Secondly, we need to be consistent. Any despondent child to whom we can offer a glimmer of hope will need to know he or she can rely upon us for understanding and constructive advice. We can't just "patch up" the troubles of suicidal teens with a single motivational "band-aid", hoping their wounds will heal. They're like little children walking barefoot on a gravel road; they need that constant, available "hand" to get them through the rough spots.

Thirdly, the expression of our concern and the assistance following must be genuine. Children have an uncanny knack about knowing if adults are sincere or not. If our advice and concern isn't sincere, then we'd be better off saying nothing at all.

Fourthly, we must remember to choose our wording carefully. Some kinds of "advice" can be more harmful than helpful, despite your intentions. For example, we shouldn't tell a child that they'll "grow out of it" (this gives them the impression that they've caused the situations that have hurt them; it also presents an unknown "timeline" that can make them impatient). If the problem is the loss of friends or relationship, don't tell them "You're still young; there are plenty of fish in the sea!" They're not trying to "fish"; they'd rather "attract". Stress their looks and attractive personality, and reassure them that, with patience, the right friends or relationship will come to them!

Fifthly, get professional assistance for the child and walk him or her through it. Start with the National Suicide Hotlines at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). They're available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Ask any questions, get as much information from them as possible. Follow that up with a call to the crisis units in your city or town (if your area doesn't have one, call information for the one nearest you). Make an appointment with a qualified counselor specializing in these situations. Again, remember to stand with the child through the process (even the appointment, if allowed), and do so without passing any judgment upon him or her.

The basic point of all this is that a child should always know that someone's in his or her corner to help ... to give hope ... to let them know that there is something positive to which they can look forward. It's called "life".