Teen Victoria Lindsay Beaten; Could Your Teen Be Next?
Parents Play a Vital Role in Keeping Our Teens from Violence
When I watched this video, I was utterly and incredibly appalled at what I saw. What is happening with our teens today, which would make them think so little of hurting another human being? Have they been so desensitized to violence, that they don't realize the extent to which they can truly damage someone physically, or do they just not care?
Parents of teens, it's time to wake up and start taking some steps to prevent your own teen from becoming physically violent with others. If you don't take action to make sure your teens are acting like civilized human beings, who will? Ask yourselves the following questions, and then sit down and talk with your teen. You may be surprised at what they tell you.
Do you really know your teens' friends?
Do you know each of them personally? Do you know their temperaments? Have they been in trouble with the law? If you answered no to any of these questions, you need to make a drastic change, and quickly. It's time to start participating in the lives of your teens and their friends; whether they like it or not. You are their parent first, and then you are their friend.
Has your teen been acting out aggressively?
If so, do you know why? Bottled anger and repressed emotions can be a huge downfall for teenagers. They need to have the ability to speak to someone about their feelings, and to feel safe while doing it. If you aren't comfortable talking to your teen, then seek counseling for them. Give them a place to speak their minds, so that it will reduce their overall stress level, thus reducing the chances of violence.
Is there violence in your own home?
Are you abusive, or is your spouse abusing you? If so, this needs to be remedied immediately. When children see violence in their own homes, they do not feel safe. They learn the behaviors that they see patterned before them, so if they see you being violent, they are going to be violent. If they see you being abused, again, they perceive violence to be a normal part of life. There should never be any violence allowed in the home. If there is, you can almost rest assured that your teen is going to act out in violence as well.
Are your children respectful of you, and other adults?
Children need to be taught to respect others from the time they are small children. If you teach them to sincerely respect other people, they are far less likely to become violent teens and adults. Respect must first start in the home. Teach respect, learn respect, give respect, and earn respect; these are key factors for the healthy growth of our children.
Do your children have an "out"?
My children have both been given an "out" from the time they were very young and in grade school. I told them both that if they ever found themselves in a situation where they were uncomfortable for any reason, they could secretly call me and tell me they needed me to call them back. This was our code for "Mom, get me out of here!" I would then call wherever they happened to be at the time, (immediately!), and tell them that something has come up and I was going to have to pick them up early. They even had the opportunity to pretend to argue with me if they felt the need, so that the friends they were with didn't know that they simply weren't comfortable in that situation and wanted to go home.
Both of my children have used this "out" on more than one occasion. They were unknowingly put into situations that they were felt were dangerous or they extremely uncomfortable with, and they called me to let me know it was time to come home.
Having this way of escaping bad situations is critical, in my opinion. Kids are sometimes afraid to let their peers know how they are feeling about a situation, but if they are given a way to get out, they will usually take it. I am glad that my husband and I set up this rule, because I know that it has saved both of my kids from being left in less-than-desirable conditions.
It's time for parents to become more involved. Work should never come before our children. Housework should never come before our children. Friends, parties, society functions, and even charitable causes should never come before our children. Parents, take the time to get to know your teens and their friends. Get to know their families as well. If you don't, your teen could be the next to be arrested for involvement in a violent act.
Published by Tori Close
Tori is a Christian freelance writer, photographer, and web designer living in the beautiful state of Montana. She is happily married, with two children and two grandbabies whom she adores. View profile
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22 Comments
Post a CommentI'm 18 years old and last August I went to my 'friends' house and we went out to a party, little did I know the whole thing was a set up and her and her 3 friends beat me until I was almost unconscious. A group of 20 guys and girls watched it happen and did nothing to help me. I know how it feels and it definitely is a rising issue that's going on all over the world. I feel for her family and hope that she is doing better. I know how much physical and emotional pain I had to go through and even now I still have emotional problems and have night terrors. It definitely has changed my perspective on people and opens my eyes and mind with every action I do. My friends are chosen very carefully and I try not to go out as much because you do get terrified that things like this will happen again. I never did a single thing to tick her off.. I was just another victim of teenage anger. It really is too bad that things like this happen. I'de tell my story a million times if it rose awareness.
My 6-yr-old niece was threatened by her 7-yr-old classmate that if she did not give the 7-yr old an iPod she would beat my niece. God...so young and so criminal!
MY 8 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WAS BEATEN UP BY A 13 YEAR OLD. I CALLED THE LAW AND THEY DID NOTHING. SO ITS NOT ONLY PARENTS THAT NEED A WAKE UP CALL.
I worry about this type of situation a lot myself as I have a son who has aspbergers and is somewhat different from the other kids. I have tried to talk to him about the situations teens can get into and I pray that he is never in a situation like this.
I've run into that situation myself. We actually took one of my daughter's friends with us on a trip out of state for almost a week, and her mother gave her permission to go without ever even meeting me. I was shocked. I ended up going over to her house and introducing myself before we left anyway, as well as giving the numbers where we could be reached if needed. I couldn't believe a parent would let their child go out of state on a vacation without even meeting the parents first. It was crazy.
And ditto to Valerie. I was raised the same way and do the same with my kids. I am FLOORED by how many times my daughter has asked to have a new girlfriend spend the night and their parents say yes, never even speak to me, and drop their kids off without coming in to meet me or see the home their child is staying in for the night. And I've had a few parents act offended when my daughter has been asked over and I tell them I want to meet them first. It dumbfounds me.
Absolutely fabulous. You and I are on the same page in our roles as parents. It does start young and your child models what they see at home. I love you "Out" idea and will use it. My children have been taught to tell anyone that offers them drugs that "I can't. My mom drug tests me." Now our High School randomly (and sometimes not to randomly...the whole "guilty by association" thing happens a lot too) drug tests the kids and it has made the drug problem in our small town decrease greatly.
That's why you have to engage them from a young age. Too many people let the TV raise their kids...and while I am guilty of setting my 2 year old down in front of the tube so I can do dishes, she watches Curious George or Elmo, not Bratz or any violence. There is a whole generation out there that is going to be lost...all because they have parents more interested in being friends with their kids and feeling guilty about not putting in the time. I was not a "sneaky teen," BTW, because my parents talked to me from a very early age about all kinds of dangers, situations, etc. so I was prepared and felt comfortable...and they knew all my friends' phone numbers!
I've had to erase a few comments - Please do NOT leave the telephone numbers of these girls, (or numbers you think belong to them), here on this article. All such posts will be erased. There are innocent families out there who have had their phone numbers posted online that are now getting harassing phone calls from people that *think* these families are involved with the Victoria Lindsay case. (which they are not!)
All of the people associated with beating her have had hackers make new FAKE myspaces so its hard to say if its really them or not....
But the whole situation is really sickening and disturbing to think that this is teenagers that are doing these things.