Teenage Girls and Sex: What Parents Should Know

From "sexting" to "having anal sex as a way of preserving virginity," parents have a tough time sifting through the sensational news stories about the world teenage girls navigate. While there are many rumors and half-truths floating around, here are some real things parents should know about teenage girls and sex.

Sexting

The majority of cell phones now come equipped with cameras and picture-messaging capabilities. Most people use this feature to send friends and relatives harmless pictures from vacations or cute pet moments. Teenagers (and some adults) are also using camera phones to take naked pictures of themselves and send them to others. This is called "sexting," and the news stories about this being a rising trend are true. According to the National Campaign to Support Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 20 percent of teenagers admit to doing it.

Besides causing a great deal of embarrassment for the poor boy or girl who gets busted sexting, the recipient can be charged with possession of child pornography. Yes, that's right. Child pornography. So teach your teenage girls that getting caught with naked pictures is embarrassing, but having a criminal record as a sex offender is even worse. If they receive a sexual message on a cell phone, they should know to delete it right away. And if really care about somebody, they won't send potentially incriminating pictures, either.

Sexual Aggression in Teenage Girls

We used to rest easy after teaching teenage girls that men are sexual predators, and it was up to them to protect their virtue and refuse advances until marriage, love, or at least until they got a little older. Not only does this dismiss female sexuality as a real thing (and make it shameful by denying its existence), but teenage girls today are just as sexually aggressive as boys.

No matter where you stand politically and morally on the issue of sex education, we have to rethink the way we talk to our teenage girls about their sexuality. Instead of pretending like they're innocent flowers in danger of being plucked by horny boys, we need to acknowledge that pubescent girls as young as eleven and twelve have grown-up sexual feelings. Most importantly, we need to talk to them about the most appropriate ways to express those feelings without hurting themselves or others.

Oral and Anal Sex

Do teenage girls really engage in oral and anal sex to preserve their virginity? While news stories have focused on some teenage girls who report doing this, wider studies show that this is typically not the case. Teenage girls who have had intercourse are far more likely to report having oral and anal sex than those who haven't. It's pretty much a package deal, as far as today's teens are concerned.

Keep your teenage girls safe by teaching them about how to safely engage in vaginal, oral, and anal sex. STDs are spread orally and anally as well as vaginally, and it's naïve to thing that we can teach about only one kind of sex and expect them to stay safe.

Sources:

CBS News: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/01/15/national/main4723161.shtml

The Frisky: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-hyenas-sexual-teen-girls/

Feministing: http://www.feministing.com/archives/009250.html

FOX News: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,356735,00.html

The Kinsey Institute: http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#masturbation