Teenage Pregnancy - a Young Person's Life Before Them

I know that when you are 13, you still have one foot in childhood and one foot in adulthood. The world seems both scary and an adventure. When you are 16, you think you are grown up but the plain fact is, this is your opportunity to get all you can, out of your childhood, while you still can. The choice between stretching your wings and gaining strength before you fly out of the nest or jumping into something you don't really understand yet, is before you. You make that choice in everything you do, every day. The choices you make now, will affect the rest of your life.

Listen to me carefully. The first thing I would do, if I had the chance to live it over, would be to say "no" as loud as it takes, to protect what was left of my childhood.

Although it sounds gender biased, these things can be more important for the girl than for the boy. In the event of a pregnancy, the boy can run away. The girl cannot.

Giving birth is no joke. All the labor pains, breast swelling and pain, the changes to your body, are just the beginning.

They say you have choices, even then. For the girl, let me explain what those choices are and what they entail. You can have an abortion.

Do you already have a habit you are ashamed of? Would you like to go back and stop that habit before it became habitual? Abortion is one of those choices where you can put an end to a life destructive habit, in it's tracks before it becomes habitual.

Once you've had an abortion, it's so much easier to have another and another. And if you think abortion has no lasting affect on the girl, let me assure you it does. You can't deny hormones and you can't deny the body's reactions. There is a thing called 'the empty arms syndrome' and it's very real. The later in the pregnancy, the more intense is this reaction. A mother is a mother, regardless of what happens to that baby. When it is lost too soon, the mother suffers depression and an emptiness she can't explain.

Later in years, you will still remember. Sometimes, the mother keeps envisioning how old her child would be today. Think about these things, before you say 'yes'. The abortion clinic doesn't tell you all these things. They want to make money.

You can give the child up for adoption. Certainly, that too is a choice. Your body will still go through all the long lasting affects of changes in your shape and you will suffer what is called 'impaction' when the milk drops and has nowhere to go. You won't be left untarnished or unaffected by the pregnancy.

The last choice being, keeping the child. Now what? Will the father stick by you? Will he be there to support that child and raise it? Or will he realize he's still only a child and run, sucking his own thumb?

If you are still in school, will you be able to finish high school? Who will take care of the baby? Are you ready to lose sleep at night, while the baby adjusts to a day and night schedule? New born babies aren't used to schedules, you know. They wake up all through the night, needing to be fed.

While that may sound romantic, let me share with you what it's really like. Your breasts hurt all the time, for the first few days, until both your body and the baby get synchronized. You can't wear you usual pants, because your belly is still swollen and saggy. It takes about a week, in most cases, to get that belly back into shape. Maybe longer. You have what would seem to be a month long period. Milk leaks in the night and you wake up to a wet bed. You have to sleep on one of those diapers, they give you at the hospital.

You're so tired during the day, you can't get anything done except tending the baby. For the first couple of weeks, it will seem you've lost yourself and the baby has taken over your life.

How romantic is that? Having children is the blessing of a lifetime but not when you, yourself are still a baby.

For the boy. When hormones are charging through you and all you can think of is having sex, do you really think there is any logic going through your head?

If you haven't yet formed a plan, for your life, don't you think it's fair to yourself, to wait until you at least know what that plan is? This isn't the sneaky little child, getting away with something, any more. Saying, "I didn't mean it", won't cut it, any more. And denying your the father of a child doesn't work because of DNA tests. You can be tracked down.

So where will your head by when that girl comes along and says those dreaded words, "I'm pregnant"? Will you run? You won't get far. Will you be the hero and stick by her, marry her and support that baby? If so, say goodbye to your life.

It may well be, that you will never be sorry but it will also be true, that you never got the chance to reach your full potential. I don't care what people tell you.

This is your chance, to take the right or wrong step into the future. You won't ever have that chance again. Once you've stepped over that line into adulthood, too early, you can never go back.

When you think you've gotten 'lucky', you've actually shot yourself in the foot. What's so lucky about doing the very thing that will seal you to another person for life. She will always be your first and possibly the mother of your child.

Now for the both of you. You are young and healthy. Like it or not, unless you kill yourself in a drunk driving accident,you will live to see 30. It's coming, there's no stopping it.

I know it's hard to think of yourself as ever being 30. For right now, I say, that's a good thing. Take one day at a time. But just remember, 30 is coming.

You can't wait to be 18, then 20 then the big one, 21. You push to be older, as though life will pass you by. Believe me, it won't.

I'm 63 and I remember 18, so well. I too, looked forward to 21. You know what happened? I had my 21st birthday and before I knew it, I was having my 30th. Faster than you could fathom, I was 40, then 50. It's amazing how much faster the years pass, the older you get.

When you're 30, it's too late to put on the brakes. Do it now, while you can. Slow down. Be a kid. Think about your future.

All this other stuff, booze, sex, all those things that seem to belong to the miracle age called 'adult', will come soon enough.

What's the use of getting to that golden age of 21, when you are either stuck at home, minding mom or stuck in a dead-end job at the gas station? What kind of miracle is that?

"I don't need you. I can do it." Yes, you can. Nobody is saying you can't. What the grown-ups around you, are trying to tell you, is that there is a glorious and wonderful life ahead of you but you can blow it, with one lousy decision.

So here's the lowdown. And maybe it seems to you, too restrictive. Let me tell you, if you stick to this plan, you will look back on your life with a smile instead of tears.

Finish school. Go to college or whatever it's going to take, to get you to the next stage in your life. What's that stage? It's whatever you've decided to do with your life.

Will you be a doctor? Will you be a horse trainer? Be sure you pick something that will be valuable to you, even when you're 50. Then do what ever it takes to get there.

Along the way, you may meet someone you just can't live without. By then, you will be old enough to be thinking with more brain than crotch. A valuable thing, that brain.

When the kids at school tease you into doing something new, remember this-they won't be there 10 years from now. Right now, they are your peers. In your tomorrow's, you won't even remember their names. Why would you let a fleeting relationship, dictate your entire life? You can be wiser than them. You can think 'older' than them.

You can be your own person. With the right set of values to guide you, you can be that person living in that big house and driving that new car. Look around you. Which, of all the people you see, do you want to be.

For those who are just entering their teens, let me share this thought with you. I wouldn't go through those years again, for all the tea in China. I remember well, the emotional upheaval's. The dreads, the fears, the anxieties and especially that Saturday night pacing, as though the world was passing me by.

This is a period in your life, you have to go through. There are no if's, and's or but's. Just do all you can to keep yourself calm, to keep your eye on the ball and look to the future. Do all you can, to keep from falling into the traps, your friends would have you jump in to.