Teenagers

For those of you reading this I will assume and continue to assume that you have a teenager. I will touch on some topics that can be a little mature and some things that may be hard for most parents to swallow. I am just here to show you how teenagers think, why they act the way they do, and to remind you that you once were a teenager too and for most of you those years were probably fun but hectic too.

Chapter I - Teenagers now and Then

Most of you if you have a teen are either hitting thirty or older than thirty (unless if you had a child before 18). I know for some this may make you feel old but no worries. Most of you were probably born during the 70's although there may be some 60's out there. Those times were kind of simular but very different at the same time. Everything now is fast pace, life goes fast, we have email vs. snailmail, we have cars that go hundreds of miles every month. There is a McDonalds on every corner almost. Life has hit the fastlane. Caffiene has become the number one drug that is used on a daily basis. How does this equal out for your wonderful teen? If your teen is a 90's child then from an early age they were taught that everything needs to be done as quick as possible. Whether it be to hurry up and finish homework, or timed exams, or just anything else you can imagine. This world now days is all about how fast you can go and how quick you can get something done. This can be extremely stressfull on adults so why don't we think its the same for teens? Oh well I work 8-12 hours a day I hear most of you saying in the background. Well to be honest your teen probably does the same thing and heck when your teen gets home his work is still not done. There are probably chores you make him/her do, they have homework, they have to study for exams, then they have to manage to get their small playtime in because most teens need their time to just chill out. So don't have an idea that your teen has it easier than you do because his/her day may be just as hectic as yours.

Chapter 2 - Whats going on!

Ok now this seems to be a major one with alot of parents. Your wonderful child is all of a sudden talking back, not listening to you, not caring about anything you say, having an attitude, and overall just being a royal pain in the rear end. This happens with most teens. As teenagers they want freedom. The more freedom you give them the more they will be happy and want to work with you. The more freedom you take away the more they will hate, dispise, and overall dislike you. I am not saying that you should just give them full reign to do whatever but if you want to be happy and have a happy teen then I suggest not being so hard on him/her. Give them limits but give them the chance at freedom. Thats the hardest thing about being a teen. Being stuck in between childhood where you have to act a certain way because you are not considered an "adult" by law but they have to make adult decisions and most parents want their teens to act like an adult. Teens will not act like an adult 100% of the time and dont expect it. To think that they will is ignorant because there are some adults that act like 6 year olds on a daily basis. Ok so your kid is angry/furious with you. If he/she storms off to their bedroom just let them cool down. Teenagers need time to cool down when angry because otherwise they may end up getting very angry, to the extent of saying some very hurtful things that they didn't mean and will end up sorry later on. Just let them chill for a good 10 or 20 minutes so that all of their and your thoughts can be sorted out. If a discussion reaches a yell and you and your teen cannot talk without screaming or getting angry then stop the discussion. Be the adult that you are supposed to be and just end the discussion unless if it is absolutley serious and it is something that can't be discussed later. (Seriousness is not that your teen did not do the dishes. Seriousness is that you caught your teen smoking weed or doing something that is intolerable.) You and your teen need to communicate openly. I am not saying that you need to tell them everything because some things a teen does not need to know but what you do need to do is you need to be able to talk about things openly with your teen.

Chapter 3 - Sex & Life

This is another one that is very hard for parents. There will be a time when your teen has sex. Now your probably saying "but my little baby is too innocent." well that may not be too true. Just because your teen may act a certain way around you does not mean that your teen doesn't act the exact opposite around others. Teens feel that they have to make their parents happy usually so most teens will not curse or talk about "dirty" things around you but the things they are not talking with you about they may just be talking with their friends about. Alot of teens in middle school have had sex. You may be shocked by this but it is true. The numbers are even higher in high school. Sex is a natural part of life so talking about your sex to your teen if you have not already is a top priority. If you have a boy then I would suggest the father talk to him about sex and about masturbation and if you have a girl then I would suggest the mother talk to her about what she needs to know. If you are a single parent then just put any awkwardness behind you and just sit down and talk with your teen. I am coming up on a more touchy subject now. If you have a gay or lesbian teen. I know that most people are against the gay community but how much will you be against it if your teen is gay or lesbian? Are you going to support them and love them no matter what or are you going to throw them to the side just because they like something that is foreign to you. I would hope that you would love your teen. Now telling a gay teen they cannot have sex will probably not work for one major reason. The reason is that if your teen is gay or lesbian they will know that they cannot get pregnant so worrying about bringing a child into this world is not an issue where as if your teen is straight they should be extremely cautious because they have many more things to worry about than a gay teen. Make your teen understands that protection is key because even if they are gay they can still get STD's. Do not make sex off limit for your teen especially if they are over the legal age in your state. Some states don't even have an age limit for gays. Just love your teen no matter what happens in life and they will love you in return.

Chapter 4 - Ending

This was just made for an understanding of teens and its not meant to take up too much of your time. If you are kind to your teen and let them enjoy life then they will be much happier. All I can say is that teenage years are hard and as a parent try to make them as painless as possible even during the hardest of situations. I hope that your teen enjoys his/her years as a teenager and I wish you and them good luck.