Teenagers and Cutting: What You Should Know

The term "cutting" is relatively new to me but that doesn't mean it didn't happen when I was a teenager, it just means no one was talking about it. I remember some classmates showing off where they had burned themselves with a cigarette but I thought they were just playing around. They could have been joking I suppose but looking back I wonder if it was something more.

I remember quite clearly my love of writing came from teenage pain. I can still say quite certainly there is something about being a teenager that is extremely painful and hard to explain. There isn't always a clear-cut reason for the melancholy confusion but it is very real and everyone deals with his or her pain in a different way.

I found my love of writing as a teenager and I am thankful I had it. I still have those pain filled, lovelorn poems and stories I wrote all those years ago. I laugh a bit now when I read them but I also remember the need to let the feelings out. Teenagers (and some adults) who don't find such an avenue for release may turn to more dangerous activities and one of these is cutting.

What is Cutting?

Cutting is the act of inflicting pain on your own body by cutting your skin until it bleeds. Though some will mutilate themselves with burning cigarettes, matches or lighters cutting the skin with a sharp object tends to be the most common type of self-inflicted pain.

The frequency of this behavior is dependent upon the child. Some will cut themselves once a month while others will do it several times a day. Though cutting is a clear shout for help most teens will hide their behavior and make excuses if marks on their bodies are found by adults or friends.

Who

This can happen to anyone. Even the outgoing, star athlete type teenager can be a cutter. They may be the last ones you would expect but it happens. These teens may seem to be happy but they also may be under a lot of stress to live up to the expectations of their parents.

Girls are more likely to be cutters than boys but both genders are at risk for this behavior. Cutters can be children who have been abused in some way or have been taught by their parents they should hold in their emotions and not express them. This isn't always the case however; cutters come from all genders, ages, races and walks of life.

When and Why

A teen is most likely to start cutting when they are feeling stress or disappointment and they have no constructive outlet for their feelings. Anything can trigger cutting such as upcoming tests, peer pressures and issues or love problems. Other times cutting can be a sign of self-hate or stem from a feeling of worthlessness.

Family stresses can contribute as well. If you are moving to a new school district, experiencing financial difficulties or heading for divorce remember that each of these can affect your child in a profound way. They may not be willing or able to talk to you about what they are feeling so they may find another way to deal with their inward struggles.

Signs and Symptoms

One huge sign of cutting is wearing long sleeved shirts and jeans in warm weather. Although cutting may appear in some circles as the 'cool thing to do' it is something a troubled teenager will go to great lengths to hide from their parents and friends.

The most obvious sign is of course scars on your child. The most common areas teenagers cut themselves in on the arms, legs and the belly. They lines can be any length and in any number. Some will cut the same spot repeatedly while others cover large areas of skin.

Cutters will generally change their everyday behavior. They will become more withdrawn and secretive. They may avoid changing clothes for gym class or trying on clothes in front of parents or friends. Their grades and social life will suffer as well.
What Can You Do?

Cutting is in simple terms the physical clue to inward mental or emotional pain. If your child is cutting something is bothering them terribly and they need you, even if they can't admit it. Cutting is used when a child cannot cope and after a while the act of cutting may not be enough. You may lose your child to suicide if they don't get help.

Try talking to your child and let them know you want to help them, not punish them. Tell them you may not understand what they are going through but you are willing to listen and to try to help them if you can. Encourage them to go see a medical professional with you and get them into counseling.

You can find support groups online full of wonderful people who have been cutters or the parents of cutters. They may offer you support, encouragement and advice. You doctor or counselor may know of local support groups you can join or specific places to go for help.

The most important thing to do is acknowledging the problem rather than ignore it. You teenager needs you even if they pretend it is no big deal. Find support and help as soon as possible.