Teenage/Young Adult Sex Education

What is wrong with young people today? I am so frustrated and angry. The statistics report drops in teen pregnancy, but I fail to see the truth behind that. Teens may not be getting pregnant as much, but what about young adults? Those who are 18 to 22, unmarried and still living with their parents or relatives. I have a story to share and hopefully, it will reach out to a few parents and young adults.

My philosophy has always been to teach abstinence and protection. I have always told my son to wait until he was with the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with before having sex. But, I was also a teenager once and know the desires of teenagers so I also told him that if he couldn't wait, to use protection not only to protect against disease but also from being unprepared to bring a child into the world. Obviously, he didn't listen very well and neither did his girlfriend when I warned her about the dangers of unprotected sex. I have a beautiful baby granddaughter who is now two years old whom I love and adore, but now every day is a constant battle. Before sharing details about that, let me explain a little further.

My son and his girlfriend had been together for about 5 years and all during this time I expressed concern over unprotected sex and let them both know my feelings about pregnancy. They had discussed marriage a few times and he even proposed to her, but not before she became pregnant at the young age of 18. He was 20. At that time, they were both living with their parents; he in my house and she with her parents. And, although she had graduated high school before becoming pregnant, she had aspirations of going to college to become a teacher.

He eventually bought a house for the family to live in, but they were never married. Needless to say that about a year and a half after the baby was born they split up, which left him with a newly purchased house to take care of all by himself. This is not a pity party for my son, as he made his bed. Not to mention that shortly after purchasing this house, he lost his job. Luckily, he was able to secure employment but at a much reduced wage. He is barely scrapping by and has met a girl he has asked to marry him and guess what? She is now pregnant! Again, they are not yet married and are still very new in their relationship but they are going to have a baby!

I'm not sure whose butt to kick first. His for not heeding my warnings or the girls for not doing more to keep from getting pregnant. The whole point of this article is to share that some type of sex education is needed. Parents, teach your children about abstinence, but be realistic when teaching them. Make sure they know about the various types of protection available and make sure they know they can come to you for advice, assistance in getting protection and advice on what to do if something does happen. We as adults should take the glamour out of having a baby. Yes, babies are gifts and should be oohed and aahed over, but not at the expense of unwanted pregnancy. Young adults should be taught the realities of having children, which means giving up what we want in the best interest of the child, midnight feedings, dirty diapers, screaming babies, colic, acid reflux, terrible twos, etc. etc. etc. And, probably the biggest reason, kids do not bring a family closer together in many, many cases especially when there is already trouble brewing in the relationship. Having children tends to drive a wedge between a man and a woman in a troubled relationship instead of solving a problem or bringing them closer together.

Not only that, when the couple splits, besides being hard feelings over the split, now there is this little person who must suffer the consequences of two adults who didn't know what they were doing in the first place. There are custody battles, as both parents feel they are best suited to rear the child, there is child support to pay for those already strapped for cash and struggling to pay bills, there is visitation arrangements which are always taxing and the worse thing of all - you have tied yourself to this person who you had a child with for the rest of your life, whether you want to be with them or not. You can't get out of it so you must deal with them for the sake of the child. The child loves both parents whether they are around or not and will wonder what happened, where the other parent is and will have no idea how to deal with the situation as they cannot comprehend why mommy or daddy isn't around.

You may think your situation will be different and some are, but before you go out and bring another life into this world, think carefully about what you are doing. The world is full of bullies without one parent. Kids who are spoiled because the custodial parent feels the need to make up for the loss of a parent with gifts and money, especially when they don't have time to spend due to working 24/7 to try to support the child. It is full of children who have no morals because each parent has a different set of morals so the child has no idea what is right and what is wrong. It is full of children who do not know who they are because the family situation is normally one sided; meaning the family of one parent spends very little if any time with the child at all. It is full of alcoholics and drug users who were abused as children because the single parent couldn't deal with raising a child, while dealing with the ex plus work and everything else.

Parents, teach your children. It takes two to make a baby, not one and although my son didn't listen to me, maybe the girls would have listened to their mothers if they were taught.