Teens & Adolescents - a Transformation You'll Never Forget

It is as though my oldest son has lost his mind, and everything that was in it. A little after his eleventh birthday, he began to make the biggest transformations. First it was going places without asking, treating his younger brother and sister like they were the worst people on earth, only here to make his life miserable.

I thought he was a bit young for puberty. It started with the funniest question, "Do you have armpit hair?" I knew the answer to this question, would answer all other questions. What, what are you talking about mom?" As though I were speaking Arabic or something. Here we are in the middle of a discussion about why he could not go with his friends to a movie I did not think was appropriate, he's upset, and I bust out with, "Do you have armpit hair?" We all could not help ourselves but laugh.

It's been about a year, and more now than ever before I notice the transformations that adolescents go through. I remember as a teenager from age 13, I lived on restriction, and so did my younger brother.

We are nine and a half years apart, and very close; but I never paid any attention to his transformation as a teenager into now an almost 21 year old adult. In fact he is not much different than he was at 17. He'd kill me for saying that, but it seems as though boys honestly do mature a lot slower than girls.

Their changes continue throughout the years, where girl's transformations are about done by 18 years old.

"Characterized by major physical, intellectual, philological, and social changes," transformation from adolescent to adult is highly noticeable. (1)

Physically the body changes, it becomes larger, taller, and stronger. Boy's voices may deepen; girls may become a little more soft spoken or a lot more vocal.

Intellectually adolescents begin to think in more abstract ways. Thinking of creative possibilities, in comparison to the many facts of reality that they have been drilled to memorize based on societies standards.

But the thought patterns of these adolescents seems as though it has immatured back to when they were about 5 or 6. She took my toy, he's touching me, don't look at me. As though they have to grow up all over again. They seem to be irrationally childish, argumentative, and self centered, but yet contradictory with the fact that they want more independence, but yet lack the maturity to act in a way that deserves such a freedom.

At twelve years old, my son can't simply remember to even take out the trash without being told, but yet he wants an allowance. For what? "For cleaning my room, "he says. That is the funniest thing I have ever heard. "How about if you don't clean your room, you will stay in there, only to come out to use the restroom and to eat the basic three meals."

I don't even waste my time trying to rationalize with a teenager. I just say to me, "he is not thinking clearly." Instead I use this and many other issues as a teaching experience.

Teenagers like to believe that they are always right, they are looking to figure out who they are, and all they know is that they are not like mom and dad.

What took many years, of restriction, and arguing; and now being a mother of three; they will look back years later, and say, "What was I thinking, and without my parents where would I be today."

Dedicated to my parents,
Demetris & Marvin Epps

And all parents that have teenagers!

Resources Cited:

1. Psychology, Fourth Edition, Authors: Stephen F. Davis - Joseph J. Palladino

Edition: 4th, Release: 2003-02-26, Publisher: Prentice Hall, Pg387.