Teens and Their Flock-like Behaviour

If you live in the Country, you probably know about sheep and sheep behavior. They stay together and do everything together. Where one sheep goes, the others follow. They also look the same. The same behavior can be found with teen-agers.

Many folks don't like teens that much. They seem to have forgotten that not that long ago they were exactly the same. But I like teens; because I do remember being one of them once. I remember the mood-swings and the tantrums, and feeling that although I was wrong, I wanted to be right anyway. And I wanted to be part of a group.

When you are very young, you are dependent on parents, for nearly everything, ranging from food to clothes to love and understanding. But there comes a certain point where the teen feels they have learned enough of all that and there is a need to join something else. Of course, we as parents still have to supply them with material stuff , give them a roof over their heads, and tell them we love them but they start feeling a bit independent. Not every parent hangs out the National flag and throws a party at that prospect. In fact, they mourn the loss of their "baby". Where have the years gone, they ask themselves. Of course if they would only look in the mirror these parents could clearly see that they have "matured" too. But those wrinkles didn't come there by themselves; worries over kids premature a lot of once-hunks and beauty-queens. So while your "baby" was growing up, you were simply growing old.

Partly leaving the warm nest is the best option for a teen. After all, bird-mothers throw their young out of the nest in a couple of weeks of nesting; the moment the fledgling can fly the nest is boarded up until next year. And see where that attitude ends, I have 5 cats so don't ask me about it. So while you still provide them with all the essentials your teen wants to find a new "flock". After all, the old one (your home)was a bit restrictive and old-fashioned. And since they never, ever agreed with you anyway the best thing is to find a flock where the members all agree. And so they socialize with other teens.

However, there are some unwritten rules. One is that they have to dress the same or else they are literally the "black" sheep. This is to be provided by you of course. The second one is to follow The Flock, wherever they go. They are not to wander off and do things on their own. The third one is to talk a lot about nothing. This is time-consuming and they need to be in constant contact with either the other members of this flock, who are 2 meters away, or part of another Flock, probably 5 meters away.. This is done by cell-phone, also provided by you. In order to get to the Flock they need transport. This is also provided by you. And since they need even more socializing time at night going to the movies is also paid for by you. Because they want to look older the girls need make-up and hair dressers, nail-specialists and jewelry and guess what: all paid for by you. Boys might need a bit less but cost a lot in awful smelling after-shave which they claim are so-called "babe-magnets" . Very handy if you have a daughter; you can smell a teen aged boy from miles away.

So, by now you have taken out the calculator and have come to the same conclusion as we have: you could have been extremely rich, but are not.However, if asked most parents would give a firm "No" to the question: " But what if your kid stays at home with you, perhaps forever?" I say "Let them moan and groan in a Flock, because that way they get it out of their system". And your house might become a haven of tranquility, so craved by us "old" people. But try and find out what kind of Flock they socialize with. I have written this article in humorous style, but it is actually meant as a bit of a warning too. Your 14 year old might act independently and mature, but that doesn't mean he or she really is. And if your teen is involved with the wrong crowd, don't hesitate to take action.

If this is the case, find them a different Flock, because they do need one. Perhaps joining a sport or a skateboard-club; ask him/her what they are interested in.My son has tried all kinds of things before he turned 18.

Happy parenting!