Television Courtroom Dramas: The Verdict is In

I have just finished watching one of the many televised courtroom dramas. The story is one that is "all too familiar"...

We have as the plaintiff, a female who is suing her ex for the cost of a car loan, cell phone, vacation, wardrobe and other "stuff" she purchased during this failed relationship. Totals range from a few hundred dollars to thousands of dollars.

Our defendants all claim the same thing: "It was a gift, your honor. She never said anything about it being a loan".

Now, let's look at this scenario a little more closely.

A female works hard to earn a meager living. She is possibly raising a child alone, and decides to "loan" an amount of money, or buy extravagant "gifts" for the male in her life. She wants to show how much means to her by going into debt for him.

And I'd be remiss if I overlooked the ones who do the same for men they have known for less than the time it takes to boil an egg!

Let's get real, ladies!

If you have underwear older than the man in question, why are you even thinking of giving him anything other than the door? And that is so he can get out of your life/purse.

If he is a grown man, he should have a job, place to live, and money enough to take care of himself. If not...HE IS NOT A MAN! More than likely, he is a "Momma's boy" and you need to turn tail and run! If he cannot get credit because his is bad or not established, then he needs to find another way of financing his lifestyle. Not you.

I mean, think about it...if a bank doesn't trust him, then why should you? And he has had credit in the past and he jacked it up, what makes you think you will ever see a dime of what he gets from you?

Now I realize we all suffer from financial setbacks from time to time. Every so often, we need a little help from friends and/or family to make it to payday. I have been there more times than I can count. But you won't see me asking some guy I just met for some money. Besides, if I, or any women were to do that, it'd be considered soliciting or prostitution.

Any man worth his weight will "bring to the table" all he needs to provide for the woman in his life. He will have worked and saved enough to "handle his business". He will be able to buy whatever he needs (within his means) to make sure you and he can enjoy each other and not worry about funds. He will have the necessary money to buy, gas, and maintain any vehicle he wants, take you both on trips, and purchase any jewelry he wants you to have to show his feelings toward you.

Now there's nothing wrong with exchanging gifts with one another, just make sure it is a gift, and that it is one each of you can afford. Go ahead and treat him to dinner or a movie - as long as you can afford it. But if he asks you to help pay for a car, his apartment, etc..RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, and don't look back.

Mind you, you and he will have spent an ample amount of time getting to know each other. You will have dated exclusively for a period of time to allow one another the opportunity to see how the other handles life's trials and tribulations. During this time, there will be no sexual contact (see article: "Single Men and Women Say I Dont Until You Say I Do"). The reason for abstinence is so you don't confuse "lust" for "love" and thereby use "clouded judgment" when he has the audacity to ask for money. And believe me---he will ask.

Because we are living in the "Instant Gratification Era", we believe we should have what we want, when we want it, at any and all costs. This, unfortunately, includes relationships. Meet a guy Monday, sleep with him Tuesday, move in with him Thursday and lavish gifts and money on Saturday, then break up on Sunday. The the following Wednesday: you submit your case online on "The People's Court", "Judge Joe Brown", or any of the other TV dramas.

It will be in these courtrooms, on nationally syndicated television, and worldwide viewing channels, the world will see yet another "fool and HER money, now parted."

Erica Caine would be ashamed of you! You know she would NEVER lend money to a man she wanted. Heck! He'd have to give her money just to be in her presence. And what of Elizabeth Taylor? She's been married and divorced seven times, yet, she never spent a dime on any of her husbands. They bought HER lavish gifts, homes, cars and such. And she won them all in the divorce settlements.

And if you do decide to be that "fool"...at least get it in writing. A contract, a promissory note- something! Some kind of legally binding, verifiable proof of the transaction and conversation, so when Judge Millian or other asks..."Can you prove this wasn't meant to be a gift?"

You want a man to love you - make him earn your love. And while he's at it...make him get a job and earn a paycheck to support himself. If he's not willing to abide by those simple rules, tell him, "This ATM is OUT of ORDER" to you.