Television Shows that Didn't Make the Fall 2010 Line-up

It's that time again. The time when television network executives decide which series will make their fall line-up and those that won't. Here's a brief list of what you won't be seeing on the major television networks:

CSI: Proctologist - CSI: Proctologist follows Dr. Sam Sloan, accompanied by hard drinking, divorced New York City Detective, Mitchell Perez through a typical work day. The opening scene shows Dr. Sloan and Detective Perez standing over a bullet-ridden body with a Bowie knife protruding from it's back:

Detective Perez: "So, Doc. What do you think was the cause of death?"
Dr. Sloan: "It's hard to tell, Mitch. I'll have to wait until I get the body back to the lab, where I can perform a Fleets enema and a sigmoidoscopy on him. Off hand, I'm thinkin' it was polyps in his colon or rectal fissures."

This Old Souse - After losing his major lawsuit with PBS, filing bankruptcy and hocking all of his tools to pay his alimony payments, alcoholic and drug abusing Bob Villa somehow manages to stagger around his dilapidated rental in his stained sweatpants, showing viewers how to perform common home repairs like patching over bullet holes from the party last night, covering blood stains on walls and replacing the front door that was run down by a Harley Davidson.

America Ain't Got Talent - Aimed at spotlighting the little guy, the judges of America Ain't Got Talent,Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel scoop up the leftovers from the past three years, looking for the absolute worst acts on stage. The winning act (which is actually the losing act) will get a one-way, all-expense paid trip to the destination of their choice, as long as it is at least 3,000 miles from Hollywood.

Law and Order: Special Janitorial Unit - The most recent in a string of successful Law and Order programs created by Dick Wolfe, Law and Order SJU keeps viewers riveted to the edge of their seats as they watch janitors empty trash cans, mop up puke from holding cells, wash the detective's coffee cups and replace the toilet paper in the women's restroom stalls.

NCIS: Guthrie, Oklahoma - the Naval Criminal Investigation Service is challenged in a series of investigations that occur thousands of miles away from the nearest body of salt water or Naval base. In the opening episode, the team is dispatched to the Clip Joint, where sailors on leave are attempting to finagle free haircuts from owners Frankie Heller, Fenecia Doolin and Becky Burton. The sailors told the owners that they were just trying to get the free back to school haircuts, advertised in the Guthrie News Leader. The sailors were bussed back to Treasure Island, California where they were given dishonorable discharges and a gift book for Fantastic Sams.

Lost Springs Medical - Lost Springs Medical follows three newly graduated medical students as they meander their way through their first year of internship in Wyoming's smallest town (population of one). Students take turns as the Chief Medical Examiner, Chief of Surgery and Chief of Emergency Services, grabbing unsuspecting tourists as they stop in the local diner.

Dancing with the Homeless - A spin-off of the famously popular reality show, Dancing with the Stars, the DWTH judges Bruno, Carrie Ann and Len evaluate the costumes and dancing skills of homeless people in the holding cells at LAPD Central Division, the Union Rescue Mission and on the corners of 5th and San Pedro Streets. Contestants compete for warm meals, clothes and prime sleeping locations under bridges and at the Old Greyhound Bus Station.

Lost: the Sahara Desert - In the latest installment of the popular suspense series, the participants are dropped from a helicopter into the complex sand dunes of Sahara Marzup Libya and forced to duke it out against their fellow contestants, using only a piece of string, one liter of water, an iPod and a pogo stick until they reach the seacoast ports of Shott el Jerid (North Africa's largest salt lake), the Barchan Sand Dunes or the Suez Canal. From there, contestants have to swim back to the United States, where they'll file for unemployment.

The Warehouse (previously The Office) - With the failing economy at Dunder-Mifflin paper company, Michael Scott, Dwight Schrute and Pam Beesly have been demoted to the company's warehouse where they get involved in a series of hilarious circumstances like learning how to drive a fork lift, weighing boxes in shipping and receiving and figuring out how to use the time clock.

Owego Legal - The latest casualty in legal dramas was Owego Legal. Owego is a small village in Tioga County, New York, with only 3911 permanent residents. Writer/Producer David E. Kelley said that even though he managed to land top notch talent from his previous productions, there just wasn't enough going on in the town to come up with 13 episodes worth writing about. "After covering the obituaries and the classified ads," said Kelley, "the only thing worth writing about was a man yelling obscenities at several people at 19 W. Mohawk Street."

Afghanistan Idol - After eight years of success in the United States, the producers of American Idol have branched out with Afghanistan Idol. The series opens with 21 hopefuls, including Abdul Khaliq Aziz, Beltoon, Daud Noori ("Noori Dog"), Deepika Thathaal, Fiza Fayaz, Hafiz Karwandgar, Ibrahim Mohmand, Latif Nangarhari, Khan Qarabaghai, Mahjabeen Qazalbash, Mozhdah Jamalzadah, Noor Mohammad Kochai, Obaidullah Jan Kandarai, Peer Muhammad, Raees Khan, Sahibzada, Shafiq Mureed, Taj Khan, Valy Hedjasi, Wali Khan and Zia-ud-Din-Zia belting out Afghan favorites such as Kojahee and Jaan-e Maadar.

Who Wants to be Broke? - Spun off of the popular television show, Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, contestants state their net worth to the producers prior to the start of the show. Contestants then answer a series of increasingly difficult questions, betting their answers against their homes, cars, boats, vacation homes, children's college funds and other valuable assets. When the contestant has been completely wiped out, they are sent home with a consolation prize - a $100 gift certificate to Legal Zoom.

The Biggest Loser 2010 - Unlike the immensely popular reality show pitting personal trainer Jillian Michaels against obese people wanting to lose weight, The Biggest Loser 2010 follows 20 slovenly, unemployed losers on welfare, food stamps and unemployment checks as they make their way through a typical day, bilking the system out of as much money as they can before they get caught by the police. The winner gets an all-expense paid vacation in the Los Angeles court system that includes free uniforms, shivs, 3 meals a day and free bus transportation between court dates.

Top three runners up:
CSI: Solvang
The CBS News Hour with Carrot Top
The Real Housewives West Virginia