Temper Tantrum Tricks and Tips for Frustrated Parents

My youngest daughter gave me plenty of on-the-job training in temper tantrum 101. From department stores to doctor's offices, her tantrums were unequaled in intensity and duration. I remember it once took me, the doctor and two nurses to hold her down for a shot. I smile when I think about it now, but her temper was once a source of great embarrassment. Luckily, her tantrum phase was brought to an abrupt end by a few tricks I had up my sleeve, along with helpful advice from other parents.

Are your child's needs being met?
A temper tantrum is a cry for attention. Sometimes, the attention is needed. Sometimes it's not. In order to conquer the tantrum, you have to learn the difference. Remember, when your child throws a tantrum in the store, they could simply be tired, hungry, thirsty or even bored with shopping. Going to the store may be fun for you, but are you ignoring your child's needs by shopping until they drop?

Scary things happen at the doctors office.
When your child throws a tantrum at the doctor or dentist, they may simply be afraid. Talk to your child about what to expect there before you leave home. If they need shots or painful procedures, explain why. Their young mind only knows what's happening hurts. They don't know why Mom or Dad is participating in hurting them like this.

Ignorance is bliss.
If your child is just putting on a show, remove their audience. At home you can do this by leaving the room. If you're in a store, you can simply scoop up your child and leave the store. You might also try just walking away where you can see them, but they can't see you. In other words, ignore them. It's the opposite of positive reinforcement.

Don't cave.
Whatever you do, if your child is having a fit because the answer was no, do not give in to their demands. Sure, it's tempting to give them that treat just to make them quiet. If you're at the store, your fellow shoppers may even urge you to do so. Of course they don't have to live with a spoiled child for years to come. They just want a peaceful shopping experience.

Never let them see you sweat.
When your child is screaming and having a fit, the worst thing you can do is have a meltdown. Seeing you upset will just make the tears flow harder and the limbs fly faster. Remain calm. Speak softly. Remove them from any situation that causes them harm or annoys others. If you're tempted to yell and scream, hold your breath and count to 10. You can talk to your child about the behavior or enforce discipline when he or she is in a more receptive state of mind.

More from this contributor:

Are You Enabling Your Child to Misbehave?
Help for Abusive Parents: Five Calming Steps
Does Your Child Take Advantage of Your Permissiveness?