Tempest in a Teakettle: A Child's Self Controlled Temper Tantrum

Temper tantrums come in many forms. They also have many causes. A temper tantrum can be caused by an impatient child who wants something they're not allowed to have. It can be a child wanting to go someplace they are not allowed to go. Sometimes a temper tantrum is even caused by something as simple as a child being overtired. The kinds of tantrums children have vary from child to child.

Before my own two children came into my life, I took care of two older girls who are very much my other children. I love them as if they are my own. The oldest one has always been very self driven. Even as young as two years old she was an already self motivated in many things. She would often tell me to make things harder for her so that whatever she was doing was more of a challenge. But her temper tantrums were loud and very unique.

When she wanted something or didn't like what was happening or knew she was in trouble but was mad about it, she would throw a tantrum. The difference with her though, was that she usually didn't throw them in front of me and she had control over them.

When she was ready to throw temper tantrum and have a major hissy fit, she would take herself out of the room, go into her room, close the door, get down on the floor and start kicking and screaming and crying. She was so loud when she had a tantrum, that if a front window was open she could be heard down the street. I was sometimes surprised that I didn't get a knock at my front door asking what I was doing to her. I was in the next room over. She was having a hissy fit all by herself. I learned quickly that I needed to allow her to vent out her frustrations in a way that worked for her. Having a temper tantrum in another room, with no one watching, was what worked for her. I didn't teach her that. She figured it out herself.

After the screaming and crying tantrum was over and the thumping from her kicking the floor had stopped, she would compose herself. She walked back out to where I was, calm as could be and come over to me for love and reassurance.. It was like no temper tantrum had even happened. The only evidence of her emotional outburst was a tear streaked face.

I would clean up her face, talk to her calmly about what had upset her, give her hugs and she was happy as a lark. Even her temper tantrums were self controlled. Her hissy fits reminded me of the teakettle boiling on the burner. It blows and whistles and screams. When you remove it from the heat, it stops instantly.

Temper tantrums are the junior version of our adult emotional outbursts. A child had found a healthy nondestructive way to deal with those emotions, at two and three years old. To this day that never ceases to amaze me. There are adults who still can't figure out how to vent frustrations and anger in healthy and non destructive ways. But this bright toddler could already control her emotional outbursts and how she vented them at that young age. Children can be wondrous at times..