Ten Celebrities Who Need Serious Career Makeovers

In recent days we have watched yet another young celebrity (John Mayer) pretty much flush his career down the toilet thanks to some utterly inappropriate comments, out of control hubris and an ego so obviously over-sized that it threatened to eclipse the moon in the Hollywood night sky. Next week, there will no doubt be another Charlie Sheen, Paris Hilton or Michael Jackson-type celebrity scandal to help us forget about poor Johnny boy.

But not every celebrity crisis requires a 911 call or an embarrassingly drunken awards show tirade. Some are more subtle than that and come on just thanks to handlers that recommend you make the same movie over and over again. Come on Jennifer Aniston, we know you can do more than just romantic comedies. Wouldn't it be cool to see Jen with a gun in her hand? Preferably aimed at ex-honey John Mayer, of course.

John Mayer: Much like his fellow ego-maniac Kanye West, John's downfall was very swift and painful to watch. But the problem he is going to face is that he appears incapable of ever being sorry for anything. You can't date that many women and not have some issue with anyone pointing out your flaws. Kanye apparently moved to India to "disappear for a while" so I recommend 2010's "Jerk of the Year" John Mayer do the same. (Note: You know your career is really over when Oprah won't let you on her show to do a Mea Culpa.)

Megan Fox: While she proved there were actually some acting chops underneath the plastic, bitchy veneer in the hugely under-rated "Jennifer's Body," real life mean-girl Megan Fox needs to stop giving interviews. While I realize any publicity is good for a movie, I didn't need to know that Megan thinks she only has any real power because she has female body parts. In one interview she set back Women's Rights back 15 years.

Matthew McConaughey: Feel free to be shirtless at those Malibu beaches (please!) all you want but why not try a few real acting roles or maybe an action movie once and a while. I think you have pretty much exhausted the romantic comedy genre. You are too old to be dating anyway. And even though "Sahara" didn't make any money at the box-office it was a solid action film. And doesn't Matthew deserve a macho action movie name like Dirk Pitt?

Lindsay Lohan: Where is that spunky lady we loved so much in "Mean Girls?" Why do you keep trying to make serious films when you know all we love you in are cute comedies? What we need here is a Jamie Lee Curtis/Lindsay Lohan "Freaky Friday"-type recasting in a major studio film production. Because everyone knows all public relations (and digestive tract) issues can be only be solved by Jamie Lee Curtis.

Kate Hudson: Yet another abuser of the safe romantic comedy, I fear that this genre of acting is the only one suited to her fluffy, airheaded demeanor. Since she seems to be stalking handsome male sports stars lately why doesn't she marry, say, a nice professional baseball player? Then she can follow him to games all season (they have long seasons) thereby cutting her availability to make bad movies.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: "I'll be back" is right. After a few years of "Govern-ating" the State of California (badly), it's time for "Ah-nuld" to get back to what he does best. Making films chock full of quotable catch-phrases. It has been far too long since we had our last, "It's not a tumor"-style quote from Mr. Schwarzenegger.

Tom Cruise: Please, only make movies with Steven Spielberg or the director who somehow made you seem cool in "Magnolia." They seem to be the only ones who can get a decent movie out of you these days. And please, just stop talking to the press about Katie. We get it already! You are "straight!"

The Kardashians: Please, all of you, could you just go away for five minutes! I see Khloe, Kourtney and Kim so often I can't tell them apart anymore. And where is hottie Brodie Jenner? At least some occasional "boy-candy" on "The Kardashians" would make the show more gay-friendly. Because the last thing the Kardashian family wants is a gay backlash. Just ask Kathy Griffin.

Jennifer Hudson: This divinely inspiring and talented woman doesn't need to change one iota of her fabulous self. What she needs are handlers that can parlay her multiple talents into true A-list status. Her first album had some high points but obviously her multiple producers didn't know what to do with such a powerful instrument (her voice).

She is also a natural acting talent but where are the plum lead roles that usually come after an Oscar win? Someone is asleep at the wheel in Camp Hudson because this girl is primed to hawk music, movies and lord knows what else. And that is what makes her the most under-utilized celebrity in the business.

Madonna: I think with last year's new single "Celebration" Madonna showed what vital aspect of her persona had been missing in her music for far too long-fun! Blame Guy Ritchie or The Kaballah but Madonna was a sour-puss for too long. Here is to hoping when Madonna re-invents herself yet again it is as a simple, groove happy diva like the girl we remember from the "Borderline" era. One can always hope.