Ten Foolish First Date Mistakes

What Not to Do If You Want a Second Date

D.N. Howard
Follow these ten tips and your fist date will lead to a second.

1. Poor Grooming
Nothing turns off a prospective suitor like bad breath or body odor. If you do nothing else brush your teeth and shower. Clean clothes are always a good idea, and neat clothes that fit are even better. Style is not nearly as important as grooming but it is important for some and as easy as this simple rule. Accentuate your positive attributes! If you have great arms show them off with short sleeves. If you have great legs wear shorts. (Bad hair? Wear a hat.)

2. Bad Manners
More than the way you look, the way you act shows your true personality. Ironically it is when you are not conversing with your date that they will see the real you. Always treat wait staff and store clerks with respect and friendliness. Your date will know how they will be treated in the future by the way you treat people you are not trying to impress.

3. Talking about Exs
Your first date is the beginning of your future. Don't jeopardize your future by bring your past into it. The way you speak about past relationships foreshadows the possibility of what you will say about them later. Leave ex relationships in the past where they belong.

4. Trying too Hard
Loud laughter is not attractive especially if the joke was only marginally funny. A long hard stare is intimidating and doesn't mean you are paying attention when a coy glance would accomplish the same thing. When someone tries too hard to succeed on a date it sends the message that they don't think they are qualified. Be yourself, they will discover you soon enough anyway and why waste time when the end result will be the same anyway?

5. Quiet or Aloof
When a date is very quiet it send one of three messages. It says, "I'm boring and have nothing to say." "You are boring and I would like this date to be over please." Or "I'm afraid that what I say will offend you." Again be yourself. Be kind and witty if you can but do not force your partner to carry the entire conversation.

6. Flirting or Looking at Other Possibilities
Apart from saying, "Those jeans make you look fat." Nothing is more insulting to a date than seeing that your attention is elsewhere. Try to concentrate on your partner even if you know the date will be your last, if for no other reason than if the really attractive person is watching they will know what a considerate and interesting person you can be. (You can find that person again if you really were meant to find them.)

7. Intoxication
Drunk and disorderly is a crime both to society and in the dating world. Intoxication on the first date should be common sense but it is easy to lose track of the number of drinks you have consumed and once you are over the line there is no turning back. If you get to that point at least show some intelligence by not driving your date home.

8. Not Really Listening
"I'm sorry I missed that." Is so much more attractive than nodding and laughing when your date has just told you their father is in a coma. Pay attention to what your date is saying and if you do miss something ask for a repeat!

9. Doing all the Talking
The only person who wants to hear everything on your mind is your therapist. Your date has thoughts and feeling too and you must give them time to express them. If they don't readily share, ask questions and respond to the answers.

10. Being One Track Minded
So you love online comics...unless you met your date at Comicon chances are they aren't going to want to hear about them all night long. Read the news the morning of your date so that you have some interesting things to talk about other than your own passions.

Follow these ten simple tips and your first date doesn't have to be your last.

Published by D.N. Howard

D.N. Howard writes for Howard-Hirsch Publishing and is a co-author of Body Mind Soul Money: A 90 Day Life Renovation now available on Amazon.com.  View profile

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