Ten Fun Things to Do After May 21, 2011

According to Some old guy who predicted that the world would end back in 1994, It's actually going to end this year. He means it this time. No take backs. The specific date has been set at May 21. If you are reading this article after that date, then you should probably go around and do some of the following to kill time.

1.) Wear underwear on your head.
Think it would be embarrassing to wear clean(or dirty, if you're into that sort of thing) tighty whities on your done? Well don't worry about it. It is the end of the world after all. i mean, anyone else who is still around is going to burn in a giant pit of fire or something. And the ones who made it to Heaven will be too busy testing out their new wings and such to care about your interesting fashion statement.

2.) Celebrate opposite day, everyday.
Proceed to walk around talking like Bizarro Superman. Don't explain to anyone why you are using the opposite words of everyday phrases. it ruins the fun.

3.) Use office supplies as currency.
Finally, all those years of hoarding staplers and plaper clips has made you into a post-doomsday millionaire! Congrats. You deserve it.

4.) Watch Jersey Shore, guilt free.
If you are still around, you know, on earth, go ahead and watch that show. Don't be afraid to do it. I mean, your fate is sealed anyway, right? Being here with those people after May 21st, means you are indeed going to the bad place anyway. Sorry.

5.) Disagree with logic.
Guess what? Chicken butt! But seriously, the Earth is as flat as Jennifer Lopez's butt. I mean it. Her rear end isn't real. Just like Steve Harvey's perfect hairline, her kaboose is a sham! And if that didn't blow your mind, the very idea of there being a grand total of 26 Santa Claus's delivering Presents on Christmas, in the Star ship Enterprise, surely will.

6.) Jump your neighbors Trans Am with a trike.
In it's final dark days,l the world will be in serious need of a dare devil. Most people will try to prolong what's left of their lives. That's boring. You need to up the anti and make history! Inspire what's left of modern society to life it up while they still can.

7.) Make up a bunch of lists.
Do you know about the top 50 things that scare the mess out of Ruth Bader Ginsburg? What about those sneaky 19 reasons dogs are incapable of looking up? Surely you must be aware of the top 10 video games that can get you a serious contact high? Everybody knows that one.

8.) Tell people you're there for them.
Walk up, all dramatic like, and tell a stranger that you are there for them. Do it in a way that makes them tear up, and give you a hug. They know the end is near, so it should be easy to pull off. After a few moments of embrace, trigger the ringer on your cell shone, and tell them 'hey, i should really take this call. I'll catch up with you at some point...maybe.' It never gets old.

9.) Drink wine, conga line.
get all inebriated, and proceed to have an impromptu dance party. Shake your money maker as if you only had a few more months to live. And realize that you do indeed have only a few months to live. September 10th is when that old guy who lied about the world ending before, says it'll really end this time for realsies!

10.) Bless everyone and everything.
As the ultimate sign of irony, just walk around blessing random crap. Dark humor is still humor after all.Don't bless sneezes though. Sneezes are concentrated evil living the host body. There's no point in trying to bless such a thing after May "Doomsday" 21.