The Ishtar DVD
Is Mom having trouble sleeping lately? Why not get her one of the worst movies of all time: Ishtar! Best yet, there are no side effects unlike sleeping pills.
Crime Scene Towel
Mom love CSI? Then why not get her something from the studio gift shop! If you order soon they will also include a David Caruso t-shirt!
A Homeless Man in Bubble Wrap
One of the suggested games on the box to play is to try and pop all the bubbles before the homeless guy eats all your food, or pees on the rug. Not only is this gift fun for the whole family, but it also helps get people off the streets.
Meat Thermometer
Nothing says 'get in the kitchen and cook a roast' like this great Mother's day gift. It is also nostalgic as it harkens back to a time when women did all the cooking and cleaning. The 1950's really were the good old days!
Sprout a Couch
Everyone has outdoor furniture, but not everyone has furniture that is the outdoors. The couch kind of looks like it was left on the lawn and attacked by extremely aggressive grass. Weed killer is sold separately.
Gift Certificate for a Free Moustache Waxing
Sometimes, as we get older, hair starts to grow in odd places, like ears, or on womens' upper lip. Nana will love you for this one, and so will Grandpa.
20th Century with Mike Wallace: Against All Odds: Six-Day War and Raid on Entebbe DVD
All kidding aside, this was actually on a list of Mother's Day Gifts. I think a card made with elbow macaroni, Elmer's glue, and construction paper would make a much better...hmm....
A Card Made with Elbow Macaroni, Elmer's Glue, and Construction Paper
I'm just kidding. The DVD thing wasn't really on a list either. Moving on...
A Trip to the Mutter Museum
Nana will enjoy this home of medical oddities in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Originally it was intended for research and education but now is a museum of the strange. There is even a woman's corpse that turned into soap.
Odd Ball Mobile Transport Unit
Give your grandma the ability to get around the neighborhood while not sacrificing her dignity stuck on a Rascal. It also is a great way to get some exercise at the same time.
Published by Chris Cameron
Chris Cameron is a freelance writer who basks in the glory of self-indulgence. His pompous arrogance rises above the redundancy of this sentence. View profile
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6 Comments
Post a CommentVery funny!
Lol! This ought to be loved by dysfunctional or functional families everywhere - or anyone with a sense of humor.
ahhhh!!!!! i dunno wat 2 get my mom!!! and its almost mothers day!!! and 2 make it worse, my dads birthday is on mothers day!!! AND IM BROKE!!!
LOL> I think I'm with Summer. :-)
lol lol!! :)
There is something broken in your brain. But, now I am really thinking about sending my mom a grass couch. TEE HEE