Ten Great Ways to Make New Friends as an Adult Without Bar-Hopping

When I graduated college, I moved back home with my parents and found that I had almost no friends within a hundred mile radius of me. The transition was very difficult since I was used to living only a block away from a tight-knit college campus with lots of students buzzing around almost all year long. But, with a positive attitude, I determined to simply make some friends along the way and expected things would soon work themselves out. However, I quickly learned that making friends as an adult is much more difficult than when you were young.

Back in kindergarden, if another child played with you for more than 15 minutes without pulling your hair or pushing you to the ground, you were new best friends. Not so as an adult. We tend to over-analyze everything, including our friendships. We are much more careful about our circle of friends and who we allow into our sphere of influence. This is partially motivated by the pains we have experienced in the past and an almost immobilizing fear of people. After a year of successfully navigating the waters of making friends as an adult, I thought it would be a shame to not share with the world the advice my experiences have afforded me. So, here it is:

10) Join a Gym
This is a great opportunity to get to know people, especially if you choose to join a class. As the work out intensifies, everyone in the room is releasing endorphins and by the very end, almost everyone will be craving some water or juice and perhaps a healthy snack. Why not take advantage of that time to strike up a conversation?

9) Get a Hobby, Preferably a Social One
Dancing, Scrapbooking, Golfing, Tennis, etc.- All of these are fantastic hobbies that often support social interaction. You could join a group doing these activities or take a class, either way you will be around people doing something similar, so you will have an instant conversation-starter.

8) Learn a New Skill
Poke around your local community school or YMCA and see if any classes are available to learn a new skill. It could be something useful for your job like a computers class or something completely unrelated like basketweaving. Either way, make sure it is something with a possible social outlet.

7) Volunteer
There is no doubt a need somewhere in your town that you would fill wonderfully. Find out what it is and go for it! If you are passionate about it, you'll encounter others with similar interests and you will have the opportunity to build some pretty solid relationships.

6) Hang Out After Work
One of the easiest ways to make friends is to start with the people immediately around you. Ask a co-worker or two to go to dinner after work. Perhaps suggest it as a reward on a pay-day or to celebrate a big deal. That excuse won't sound as awkward as "Um, I've got no friends here... you wanna hang out?"

5) Get Involved in a Church (or Other Faith-Based Group)
As humans, we are tightly bound by similar world views. This type of bond is often most evident in the religious/ spiritual sphere. Find people who see things your way and hang out. Contrarily, as humans, we also thrive in diversity, so finding a group of people who are different but respectful can be very rewarding as well. These people will challenge us to understand more fully what we believe and explore more deeply why we believe it. These types of friendships can be absolutely priceless!

4) Learn to Make Small Talk in the Supermarket Check Out Line
Wherever you are, strike up a conversation. It might feel awkward at first, but you will soon notice that the people you chat with will often leave with a smile on their faces if you approach them with a good attitude. Who knows? You might make someone's day with just a word or two of kindness!

3) Starbucks
Coffee shop atmospheres foster community perhaps more than any other place I know. This is similar to a bar in the sense that you will be sitting around drinking and hanging out, but you won't have to stay up super late for the party to start or deal with stupid pick up lines... at least not often.

2) Start a Conversation with People in the Elevator at Work
If you work in a building with several different businesses, it is very likely that you only speak to the people you know from your office, but why not branch out a little? Try striking up a conversation on the elevator or in the lounge. It doesn't have to be profound, just share a random observation or drop a rightly-deserved compliment.

1) Decide to be a Friend
If you haven't noticed already, the biggest trick to making new friends as an adult is deciding first to be a friend. Think about the types of people you want to be friends with and simply determine to use the opportunities your life offers you to be a friend to those around you. In return, you might be amazed at the friendships that begin to bloom around you.