Ten Lessons Iron Chef America Could Take from Its Predecessor

When Food Network announced their plans to produce an American version of the Japanese Iron Chef program, fans were excited, but concerned. America's first attempt to adapt Iron Chef, titled Iron Chef USA and starring William Shatner, was a critically and audience panned train wreck of a show that didn't last long. Fortunately, Food Network got it mostly right and the show has had a successful run.

Alton Brown is an extremely knowledgeable and entertaining host and the chefs have found a successful mix between showmanship and culinary skills. Still, most fans of the original series find Iron Chef America lacking some of the charm of the original. Here are ten things we love about Iron Chef that are missing in Iron Chef America.

The Bimbo Du Jour:

One of the most entertaining things about Iron Chef was the presence of the bubble-headed actress of the week, known to Iron Chef fans as the BDJ or Bimbo Du Jour. The BDJ was always young, very pretty, and punctuated every statement by giggling like a teenager. Many a lackluster battle was saved by Fukui's gentle teasing of the BDJ after a statement like "I love turkey. It's sooo big! hehehehe". Imagine how much more fun Iron Chef America would be if Alton Brown had to interrupt his lessons on the science behind rump roast to listen to some giggly rump joke from Britney Spears or Paris Hilton.

Chairman Kaga:

Nothing against Mark Dacosta, the actor who plays "The Chairman" on Iron Chef America. He does an admirable job of carrying on the tradition but let's face it, once he says "Allez Cuisine!" who even remembers he's there until he announces the winner. Chairman Kaga was a force of nature. Like the strange love child of James Beard and Liberace, Kaga was a foodie with fashion sense. Even after the food took over, you couldn't ever quite get away from him as he would sit at the head of the table, sequined and sparkling like Porter Waggoner's wet dream. His narrations were always far beyond the limits of acceptable melodrama but no one ever seemed to mind.

Weird Ingredients:

Iron Chef America's "secret ingredient" might be a secret but it's rarely much of a surprise. Beef, fish, peanut butter, it's almost always something that is used in a typical gourmet kitchen. Not so with Iron Chef. When Chairman Kaga threw back that cover, a fairly typical reaction was "what the heck is THAT!?" Often weird and sometimes still alive, the Japanese Iron Chefs had to deal with ingredients like squid ink, sea urchin roe, and monkfish. These ingredients were typically accompanied by a breathless explanation from color commentator Hattori about the thousands of dollars the ingredient cost. Sure, the home chef could never hope to cook anything seen during "Battle Foie Gras" but if you're looking for recipes to make at home, you're probably watching Rachel Ray.

Culinary Style Representation:

One of the distinguishing things about Iron Chef was the concept of the Iron Chefs as culinary warriors defending their chosen cuisine. There was an Iron Chef Japanese, an Iron Chef French, an Iron Chef Italian, and an Iron Chef Chinese. Iron Chef America pays basic lip service to this concept. Bobby Flay cooks vaguely Southwestern-ish cuisine. Cat Cora is kind of a mixture of Deep South and Greek cuisine. Probably the closest to the originals is Mario Batali, who is pretty solidly an Italian Chef. But even Batali doesn't take it as far as the original Iron Chefs, who seemed to be battling for their entire country of choice. This produced really interesting battles that were "cross-cuisine" showdowns. French vs. Chinese. Italian vs. Japanese. Korean vs. Italian. It was like World War III, with food.

Faction Wars:

Hand in hand with the culinary style representations were the various Faction Wars that popped up. The longest-lasting of these were the battles between the Ohta Faction and Iron Chefs Japanese Rokusaburo Michiba and Masaharu Morimoto. These challenging factions usually had a grudge against the Iron Chefs for their "rebellious" nature. In particular, Challenger Toshiro Kandagawa and his team seemed offended by Morimoto's New Japanese cuisine and set out to prove that the "traditional" methods of Japanese cuisine were best. These faction battles provided a narrative thread that Iron Chef America, with its string of unrelated challengers with no other reason to challenge than a vague desire to "beat an Iron Chef."

Wacky Ice Cream:

Occasionally a contestant on Iron Chef America will fire up the ice cream machine, much to Alton Brown's mock horror, but rarely does it turn out to be anything more than a fairly tame sounding garnish. The original Iron Chefs, however, saw the ice cream machine as a challenge to be defeated. Fish eggs, eel, and various meats all made their way into the ice cream machine with varying results. The most famous of these was probably Iron Chef Sakai's Trout Ice Cream with Trout Skin Crackers during the Battle of the Masters mini-series.

Culinary "Sayings":

While Alton Brown is a walking encyclopedia of food ingredients and can recite 100 interesting facts about chocolate faster than you can pick up a copy of "The Joy of Cooking", he loses out to Chairman Kaga in one department, culinary sayings. While introducing the theme ingredient, Kaga would often tell the story of some farmer or fisherman who told him something like "Eat Below the Silver" or "Oysters are Like a Young Woman". Like a good haiku, most of them were just sensible enough to make you nod but still cryptic enough that you're pretty sure that you're missing something somewhere.

Manic Floor Reporter:

Aside from "Allez Cuisine" the phrase most often associated with Iron Chef is "Fukui-san!". Uttered by floor reporter Shinichiro Ohta, it was usually followed with an enthusiastic "GO!" by Fukui. And go Ohta did. Like a three year old on Red Bull, Ohta would quickly rattle off the laundry list of ingredients in a dish and follow it up with a humorous anecdote about the Iron Chef's attitude or errors. You got the feeling that the hardest working person in the room wasn't the chef who had to create a culinary feast within an hour but Ohta who, in the same hour, managed to find time to keep up with 50 ingredients in 10 dishes while still having long philosophical conversations with the contestants. Iron Chef America's Kevin Brauch always seems kind of sleepy.

Celebrity Tasters:

While Iron Chef America throws an occasional celebrity bone with a Batista or a Jeff Corwin, the majority of their judges are either chefs, professional foodies, or celebrities who are foodies. This makes the panel sometimes come off as a little dry and snobbish. Iron Chef usually had one food critic, usually the eternally cranky Asako Kishi, but beyond that might have, in addition to the required Bimbo Du Jour, a politician, a rapper, a photographer, or a fortune teller. It brought a humanity to the show you just don't get while listening to Ted Allen and Jeffrey Steingarten dither on about the subtle aroma of new potatoes in a dish.

Victory Matters:

More than anything, this is the thing that makes Iron Chef stand out over its culinary cousin. Iron Chefs rarely lost and when they did it was reported like the end of the world. Ohta would remind viewers when Iron Chefs were on a losing streak and they even had a run of episodes where Dr. Hattori had to serve as host because Chairman Kaga "walked off the set" in anger over his Iron Chefs being on a losing streak. Barely anyone remembers from week to week whether the Iron Chef America crew is on a winning streak or not.