Ten Questions Parents Should Never Ask
1. Are you tired?- Don't ask your kids if they're tired or ready for bed. The answer is always, NO! They pass out when they're eating and riding their bikes. Clearly, they never know!
2. OMG, are you okay?- When your kids fall down, don't overreact or you'll need to buy stock in band-aids. Every small cut is not an emergency. Children fall, A LOT!
3. Do you love me?- Kids have no concept of love or hate. They don't know what it means. They're attached to your hip and then calling you names. Mommy, you're NOT MY FRIEND!
4. What would you like for Christmas?- Children dream big and don't care about costs. Can I pretty, please have a pony? Can we go to Australia? Can I meet Britney Spears? Why can't I go to the moon?
5. What happened to your shirt?-Don't ask your kids questions if you don't want the answers. And sometimes, you really don't. Just clean up the mess and get on with your day. I was painting the hamster blue!
6. What should we make for dinner?-Children and adults like different foods. Let's have Dora spaghetti! Unless you want to make pizza, Kraft dinner or hotdogs, don't even bother asking!
7. Do you want to come shopping?-Are you crazy? Never bring kids to the mall. When they shop, they turn into monsters. They want candy. They're tired. They touch all the clothes. I REALLY have to pee!
8. Do you need to go potty?-I don't know why I'm squirming and wiggling around. No, I don't have to pee. Why am I in the washroom? Is it time for a bath? I'm trying to watch TV!
9. Are you ready to go?- Don't ask your kids questions that revolve around time. They have no sense of urgency. If your kids were in charge, you'd always be late. Where did you put your pants?
10. Do you want more ice cream?- I just had two bowls of ice cream, but sure, I'll have more! Kids puke and keep on eating. They'd eat junk food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. MOM, my tummy REALLY hurts!
Kids talk so much you don't need to ask questions. They mumble and hum and sing. It's a bigger challenge to shut them up. You're telling me this because.....? They have standard answers. There must be club. Is someone coaching our kids? "Psst, kid, NEVER say you're tired and ALWAYS ask for pizza!"
Published by Tammy White
Tammy is a freelance writer from Canada with a degree from U.W.O. She has achieved level eight writing status with AC and three writing stars with Helium. A mom of two, welfare caseworker and house flipper... View profile
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4 Comments
Post a CommentGreat article! 5*
Nice article -- and I do hope that I never, ever, have children. :)
LOL - when my kids were little and would tell me what they wanted me to buy them all the time, I'd just say OK - let's see how much $$ I have at the end of the month. By then, they didn't want 99% of the stuff anymore. :-)
Very funny!