Ten Reasons Why I Am a "Mean" Grandma

Like many other grandparents these days, I have grandchildren living in my home. As much as they sometimes annoy me, it seems too quiet when those little blessings are not here. But I have been told that I am a "mean" grandma. I didn't understand how they could come to that conclusion so I took it under consideration and came up with these thoughts:

1. I expect my grandchildren (or any children who come to my home) to treat adults in my home with respect. The way they talk to their mother is atrocious, and I wouldn't have even thought of speaking to my mom that way. She had a look that would burn a hole right through us if we got too smart-alecky. I think I may have inherited that look, judging from my grandchildren's reactions.

2. Internet access is limited to Grandma-approved children's games that are at least slightly educational and non-violent. No IM's or chat rooms are allowed. Ever. If they want to talk to their friends, they see them at school every day. Children need to learn to interact socially, in person, not behind a screen name.

3. Grandma's new computer is off limits to the younger children unless they're supervised, and is available only with permission to the older ones who have some computer skills. I use it for my writing and other business endeavors and can't risk having it crash. The old computer is available to all children (no internet access on that one) for game playing with age-appropriate CDroms.

4. I let them know that Grandpa is in charge of the living room TV remote control when he is home. They are allowed to watch TV after school but when Grandpa gets home, the TV belongs to him. Video games go off the minute he walks in the door. They have a TV upstairs to watch and play games on, when they can keep from arguing over it.

5. I don't play chauffeur. Dad's house is only three blocks away, and they are old enough to walk over there if they decide they'd rather be there. Anywhere else they need to go is within walking distance if they want to go there bad enough.

6. Food hoarding is not allowed. You don't get to eat candy here in front of people if you don't want to share.

7. I expect my grandchildren to ask for favors, not demand them, and to do favors for others in return. I want them to learn that life isn't about what others can do for us, but about what we can do for others.

8. I don't hand out money on a whim. Children need to learn that they don't get everything they want, just when they want it. I do occasionally buy them treats, but not as a regular habit. They are all old enough to earn a little pocket money by helping with chores.

9. In my home, misbehavior costs privileges. I've banned the oldest from the internet games she loves until she begins treating her mother with more respect and starts doing her homework, and it's going to take more than a few days to earn that privilege back

10. Adults run this home, not the kids. When Grandma says no, the answer remains no, even if you go ask mom. Pestering me just makes me more determined not to give in. They've learned not to ask twice.

I'm so evil that I want my grandchildren to treat others with respect, be kind and generous, build solid relationships, get some physical exercise instead of spending all their time on their butts, honor their parents, learn a work ethic, and get an education. If that is a description of a "mean" grandma, then I praise God I fit that description!