Ten Reasons Why You Should Not Buy Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer

10. Hangover: It physically pains me to write an advice column cautioning people against Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR). But, it pains me more after drinking a couple pints and developing a crushing headache. What is in Pabst that creates this head-haunting aches? I have no idea.

9. Quality not quantity: Tossing six or eight or twelve or I can't remember how many pints back is a wondrous occasion, occasionally. But, it seems with an inexpensive and easily gulp-able beer like Pabst Blue Ribbon, one ends up drinking considerably more than one wanted. After two pints of PBR have disappeared, it becomes increasingly more difficult to say no to the third and fourth and so on.

8. Overall Taste: Even for the price, Pabst Blue Ribbon tastes bad. Old Style or Schlitz or Point all taste leagues better than Baby Blue. If you going to drink something that tastes like gasoline, go ahead and buy gasoline-it'll be cheaper and probably leave you with less of a hangover.

7. Lightness: Despite an impressive alcohol percentage (5.7%) PBR boasts little to no actual flavor. It tastes much like a light beer, only with a little whiskey snuck in. The major domestics (Coors, Bud, MGD) all have a bit more in the flavor department. Heck, even malt liquor (I'm talking Colt 45 or King Cobra or Olde English) have more weight to them, with regards to both taste and alcohol content. And 40's of malt liquor are considerably cheaper-even cheaper than a cheap beer like PBR

6. Lower Alcohol Content than Canadian PBR: Pabst Blue Ribbon sold stateside actually contains less of an alcohol percentage than PBR sold up north in . Why would the good people at Pabst do such a thing? No idea, but it stings. If you are going to stiff us on quality, at least have the courtesy to bump up the alcohol content.

5. The Warming Effect: If a Pabst Blue Ribbon happens to spike to anywhere near room temperature, it is impossible to drink. The stuff begins to taste that bad. At least with an ice cold PBR, the poor taste or lack of taste is covered up by the sheer refreshment of a cold beverage. But, when Pabst begins to warm up and the beer drops down to the last-third of the glass (backwash terrain), the thing becomes virtually undrinkable and is only used for the losing end of bets.

4. Overly Carbonated to Under-ly Carbonated in Under 10 Seconds: I never encountered a gulping beer that is more difficult to gulp. PBR from a keg is spring-loaded in the first few sips and suddenly the bubbles disappear and your beer becomes sludge.

3. PBR Discourages Selection: An old-standby, while reliable, also takes away one's desire to try new and sometimes better products. With PBR on tap, few people will make the leap of faith and try the more regional and lesser known Old Style, etc.

2. Gas: Pabst Blue Ribbon, in addition to leave patrons with ear-splitting headaches, also leaves consumpters (new word?) with side-twisting tummy problems. The next morning is no picnic, for you or those who have the misfortune of being around you.

1. Pabst Blue Ribbon Equals Bad Memories: A long night of drinking will often times revolve around our dear friend PBR. Sometimes moments from these nights do not want to be relived. But, every time I behold a pint of Pabst Blue Ribbon, in some sort of homage to Proust, I am flooded by my past remembrances. And they are often times not pretty. Come to think of it, maybe that's where the headaches keep coming from.