Ten Secrets to Happiness

When I hear someone whining that things never go their way, how life really sucks and that people are so full of it, it's usually coming from a young person. (By young, I mean under forty.)

I've experienced what it's like to start over from absolutely nothing and have dealt with people who don't deserve to walk the streets. So, when I offer my opinions about life, it's not coming from a sheltered experience. It's true that it's not the situations you find yourself in that make you but how you deal with them that counts.

I realize that some people don't recognize your own whiney behavior, but I bet their friends do. Many people will accept what I'm about to say as good advice but not apply it to their real life... but tell themselves they do (or will). Some are certain it's life itself that's crappy no matter what they do. Then, there are those who aren't satisfied unless they have something to be unhappy about. But a very few will be tired enough of being disappointed all the time, to actually do something about it... and this post is really for you.

1. Life itself is neither good or bad. Life is the bag that everything is in. Things in the bag effect each other.

2. No matter how bad it is for you, there are a lot of people way worse off. So, it's pretty narcissistic to waste time dwelling on how your life sucks. While you're crying, ponder what you can do to remedy the situation. This gives you more control over the outcome. Besides, you can't ponder and brood at the same time. It's mentally impossible.

3. Looking in the mirror and affirming yourself won't raise your self-esteem. If it works at all, it won't last long. Do something to give yourself a reason to believe you're worthy. It doesn't have to be a great big thing. Spending time with a nice person you've been neglecting for a while can go a long way in boosting your feelings of self-worth.

4. Choose your friends. Not everyone is worth knowing. Dump the jerks who are constantly dumping on you and your good friends. And if you want a good friend, be a good friend.

5. There's really no such thing as luck. If you keep your mind and your senses open you'll become aware of opportunities that others overlook. If you keep yourself ready for such opportunities and take advantage of them, other people will think you're just lucky.

6. Don't waste effort on things you can't change. Figure out ways to get around them or move on despite them. For instance, when you're around people who dislike you, be at ease and keep smiling. It will drive them nuts and others will admire you for your grace.

7. Listen to what's going on in your head. Question your own beliefs and ideas occasionally. This mental, emotional, spiritual house cleaning will bring on a calmer state of mind, open your mind and allow you to sharpen your intuition.

8. Practice being optimistic. Practice anything and you'll get good at it. You don't have to look for misfortune. Often what's positive might be hard to recognize if you're not used to looking for it. So, practice looking. Just smiling, even if you're alone, even if you have to force it, will brighten your mood. Really. Your body can trick your brain. Try it and you'll see.

9. Don't rely on karma or revenge to bring you satisfaction. Do good, not because you want gratitude but because in the long run it makes the world a better place and in the short run, you'll get along better with people around you. The time you waste plotting against someone is time you could be spending on your own forward momentum.

10. Don't wait for happiness. Do things you like. Invite, instead of waiting for an invitation. You can create happiness by yourself, with family, with friends and even strangers... one moment at a time. Besides, the things that come to those who wait, is all the crappy stuff left by those who got there first.