Ten Steps to Dealing with Bad Service

We wanted Cassie's 21^st birthday to be something she'd remember for a long time. Well, it was and she probably will. We decided to eat at a "nice" restaurant. Keith and I had eaten there several times before with good service and good food. Not that night!

We waited over an hour for food that was-to say the least-undercooked. The meat more than a little bloody and the vegetables as well as the mushroom appetizers were either cold or still frozen. We didn't receive the appetizer until after I'd inquired about it after a very long wait.

We were kind to the waitress. Though she seemed inexperienced, the bad food wasn't her fault, and we told her so. And we weren't going to send anything back because of how long we'd already waited.

We did ask to see the manager. She never looked up from the cash register and never came over. Finally, we got up and went to speak to her at the register. While we didn't have to pay for our food, the lady never looked up, never apologized. When I said we probably wouldn't be back, her only concern appeared to be that we might tell others about our experience.

Bad service happens. How do we deal with it, without losing it?

First and foremost, attack the problem, not people.

Second, keep the problem in perspective. This isn't a terrorist attack, and by that comparison, not worth getting overly stressed out about it.

Third, stay polite, but firm, keeping your sense of humor.

Fourth, if the wait is long, inquire. If that doesn't bring results, ask what the problem is-there just might be a good explanation. At least, you will know if staying is worth the wait. At this point, you can quietly get up and leave.

Fifth, if the food is bad, return it. If that doesn't seem to be an option, as in our case, it is time to quietly express your dissatisfaction and why. It is possible to be honest without being obnoxious. Ask to speak to the manager.

Sixth, express what's happened. Be specific. Give the service provider a chance to make amends.

Seventh, always be gracious, seeking to diffuse a potentially volatile situation, with tact and a sense of humor.

Eighth, if you've previously had good service, consider returning to give the place another chance-especially if you're given coupons, or did not pay because of bad service/food.

Ninth, remember to keep the temper in check. It does no good and ends up making the whole experience much worse than it could have been.

Finally, while these steps apply to food service, the basic principles work for many other situations as well as you remember your goal of handling the problem while keeping both dignity and humor intact.

Cassie did have birthday to remember, just not in the way we expected.

She will remember that we handled things with tact and humor. It works almost every time it's been tried.