Ten Things Daycare Providers Wish Parents Knew

Daycare is a rewarding, but exhausting career. Dealing with the parents can be even more frustrating than caring for the children. Your daycare provider will have a much easier and less stressful time if you two are on the same level. There are a few things that you should know, which will make the experience easier on both you and your daycare provider. Understanding these things will improve your relationship with your daycare provider and help reassure you about your child's behavior. These are things that daycare providers wish parents knew, some of which we're afraid to say right to your face!

1. Your child will probably act differently at daycare than he or she does at home. He may be a perfect angel at home and then a fork-tailed devil at daycare, or vice-versa. She may eat or drink different things at daycare than she does at home. She may like macaroni and cheese at home but refuse it at daycare. Likewise, she may refuse milk at home but drink it all day at daycare. Your child may be very bold and brave at home but timid and shy at daycare. He may like to be indoors at home, outdoors at daycare. He may communicate to you in a different way than he does with his daycare provider and interact differently with other children or animals around you than he does at daycare. This is completely normal.

2. No child is perfect. Even the sweetest, most cooperative child is going to have a bad day now and again. If your daycare provider expresses concerns to you about your child's behavior, listen and be respectful. Acknowledge her concerns, and do not dismiss them. Denial isn't helpful. What will be helpful is for you to talk to your child about the behavior, watch for it at home, and work with the daycare provider to correct the behavior.

3. This also means that at some point your daycare provider is going to have to discipline your child. This is part of her job, something she must do out of respect for your child and the other children there. Let her know from the beginning how you prefer your child be disciplined. Striking or screaming at your child is not acceptable, but do not be angry with a daycare provider for judging that a time-out is necessary. If your child seems to find himself in time out a lot, rather than assume the daycare provider has it in for your child, remember: your child may act differently at daycare than at home, and no child is perfect.

4. We don't need or want parenting advice. We are quite capable of raising our own children without your input. Just as we will not tell you how to parent your children, we appreciate your returning the favor by not doing it to us. Like you, if we need or want your help, we will ask for it. You should tell us how you want us to act towards your child and how we are to interact with him. We will be respectful of your wishes and your parenting style. Do the same for us. We don't mind a helpful suggestion now and again, and certainly a parenting discussion about our differences is acceptable. But please don't tell us how to parent our own babies.

5. It will take time for a child to adjust to being in a new daycare. It may be a few days or even a few weeks, depending on the child. Your child may be very quiet and shy at first, then open up later. He may cry at drop-off or pick-up for a few days, even a few weeks. She may be loud, unruly, disruptive, and uncooperative at first and then gradually go back to her usual angel self. A child's security is fragile, and some children need structure more than others. Some children will be happy from day one, and others will take longer to get used to the new setting. Be patient with your child and the daycare provider during this adjustment.

6. We can't have our eyes directly on them at every second. This is just an unrealistic expectation, especially for daycare providers who keep several children. There will be times when we have to go potty, change our shirt, change diapers, prepare food, clean up messes. We will stay in the same room with your child and supervise them to the best of our ability. However, we will not be able to stop a child from tripping every time. We will not always be able to catch a child before he slides down the slide into another child. Moreover, children can make very huge messes in very small amounts of time, and one piece of chocolate can go a long way! We are keeping your children safe, even if we can't always keep them neat as a pin!

7. We need to know if they are sick or injured or have allergies, delays, or disabilities. This is for their safety ad the safety of other children. If they have a mild cold, we probably won't mind them coming to daycare, but we do need to know how you want us to treat their symptoms. If they have the chickenpox or a stomach virus, we need to know so we can advise you to stay home. Obviously, if your child has an allergy, we need to know so that we will not trigger an allergic reaction unintentionally. Knowing about delays and disabilities just helps us communicate and interact with your child. If caring for them is going to require a little extra time or creativity, we need to know so that we can be prepared.

8. A home daycare is not a school. It is our job to care for them, feed them, keep them safe, entertain them, and make their day fun. It is not our job to educate them, teach them morals, or instill a sense of faith. Unless you have specifically recruited a daycare provider for this purpose, and you have an understanding with her, do not expect those things from daycare providers. We will do everything we can to make their day educational and to expand their minds, but your child probably isn't going to learn another language or start reading at the age of 3 simply because of daycare. Our main concern is keeping everyone safe, healthy, and happy. If you want a preschool, enroll in one.

9. If you are planning a vacation, let us know as soon as you know. For one, we need to know that we won't be receiving a paycheck from you during that time, so we need to plan financially. Secondly, we may be hoping to go on vacation, too. It is easier for us to plan a vacation during a time when one or more of our clients will also be on vacation. This way less people have to find alternate childcare while we are gone.

10. Your child is a part of our family. We love your child nearly as much as we do our own children, and we try to treat them just as well. It is a huge adjustment for us, for our children, and for the other kids in the daycare when you move your child to a new daycare. If you do need to move to a lower-priced or more conveniently-located facility, we understand. We would appreciate a warning, so that we can begin preparing ourselves and the children for the departure. We may also want to know when the last day will be in advance so that we can a special farewell day. It is also helpful for us to know that we will be losing the income we receive from you and so we can begin looking for a replacement.

If you understand these things, the daycare experience will be easier on everyone involved. Remembering these things will put you on the same level with your daycare provider and help your communication. It is good to have realistic expectations and a reasonable understanding about the environment into which you are sending your child. Above all, you need to remember that neither your daycare provider or your child are perfect. We are all human, and we all need a little patience and compassion now and again. Just try to be respectful of your daycare provider and work with her.