Ten Things to Do with a Fruitcake
I received a fruitcake for the holidays. I really do not like fruitcakes. What in the world am I going to do with it? Here are ten ideas that I came up with.
1. I'm going to give away my fruitcake as a white elephant gift. If that doesn't work, I'll just give my fruitcake away to a white elephant.
2. I'm going to slice the fruitcake in half and use it as decorative bookends.
3. I'm going to use my fruitcake as a step stool. It certainly is hard enough to support me.
4. I'm going to keep my fruitcake close at hand and use it as a weapon if someone tries to rob me.
5. I'm going to share my fruitcake with my worst enemy. Perhaps he'll lose at a tooth or two when he bites into it.
6. I'm going to give it away to my dear Grandma. I know that my Grandma loves fruitcake. She also loves Lawrence Welk. She can enjoy eating her fruitcake while watching the Lawrence Welk show. Have fun!
7. I'm going to use my fruitcake as a spare tire. Okay, I'm really reaching for something to do with my fruitcake.
8. I'm going to give my fruitcake away to my boss. Hey, last year he gave me this crummy tie. Now it's my turn to return the favor.
9. I'm going to use my fruitcake as an arm rest. Ah, now isn't that comfortable?
10. I'm going to attach two fruitcakes on either side of a barbell and do some heavy lifting.
1. I'm going to give away my fruitcake as a white elephant gift. If that doesn't work, I'll just give my fruitcake away to a white elephant.
2. I'm going to slice the fruitcake in half and use it as decorative bookends.
3. I'm going to use my fruitcake as a step stool. It certainly is hard enough to support me.
4. I'm going to keep my fruitcake close at hand and use it as a weapon if someone tries to rob me.
5. I'm going to share my fruitcake with my worst enemy. Perhaps he'll lose at a tooth or two when he bites into it.
6. I'm going to give it away to my dear Grandma. I know that my Grandma loves fruitcake. She also loves Lawrence Welk. She can enjoy eating her fruitcake while watching the Lawrence Welk show. Have fun!
7. I'm going to use my fruitcake as a spare tire. Okay, I'm really reaching for something to do with my fruitcake.
8. I'm going to give my fruitcake away to my boss. Hey, last year he gave me this crummy tie. Now it's my turn to return the favor.
9. I'm going to use my fruitcake as an arm rest. Ah, now isn't that comfortable?
10. I'm going to attach two fruitcakes on either side of a barbell and do some heavy lifting.
Published by Steven West
I have a passion for creative writing and political discourse. Happily married for over 24 years, I have 2 children and work with special needs kids in the public schools. I enjoy making people laugh and sm... View profile
- How to Throw a Successful White Elephant PartyTips on how to throw a successful white elephant party.
- White Elephant Holiday GiftsWhite elephant gifts are always fun. There are so many ideas to choose from so how do you even know where to begin. Think back to what worked in the past or read this article.
- White Elephant Gift Ideas for YouWhite Elephant Gift Ideas For You. You will love to give this present. It will make someone's day.
- Horrible and Funny White Elephant Gifts: Which Ones Are the Best and Where to Buy...Guide to know which ones are the most hedious and funny white elephant gifts.
White Elephant Gift Ideas for Less Than $25Do you need white elephant gift idea inspiration? Is your budget set at less than $25? Then this article should help you with ideas.
- The Best Christmas Fruitcake Recipe
- Grandma's Christmas Fruitcake Recipe
- The Dreaded Beast--Fruitcake
- Fruitcake: An Elegant Christmas Dessert that Deserves More Respect!
- Make Money Out of Ten Things to Get Rid of in 2010
- Throw a White Elephant Party to Remember
- Creative White Elephant Gift Ideas for Christmas
2 Comments
Post a CommentA fun article, thanks!
Hilarious! Like #10 the best!