Ten Things We Can Learn from Toddlers

This scenario happens much more often than we realize: we get so busy staying busy life zooms by and we hardly notice. But once we have children, things change. Many parents find they're suddenly forced to put the breaks on. After all, we can't see what children see or how they see it unless we get down to their level. They don't speak the way we do so we have to change how we talk so we can understand each other. They can be frustrating, irritating, draining, demanding, messy, loud and embarrassing. But, more importantly, they're loving, energetic, fun, appreciative, full of life, and...ours.

When we take the time to pay attention to what our toddlers are trying to tell or show us, we can really learn a lot from them. Here are some things I've learned from my two girls, Jaimie (four) and Jordhan (two):

(1) Patienceis a virtue: A strange thing to learn from a toddler, I know. Children force adults to develop a tremendous amount of patience in order to deal with them. Because they can't speak well we have to interpret. They get angry when they can't do things so we have to help them practice until they can. They naturally do things slower - that's how they learn. We learn to be more patient with them and they, in turn, learn to be patient with others.

(2) Perseverance is key: Most children seem to try new things over and over even when they're frustrated to tears. Not because they have an obsessive nature - it's how they learn. There must be so much pressure for them --- the big people around them can do all of this fun stuff but they aren't able to even get through the first step. But these little ones persevere - whether it's learning a new Wiggles dance move or building up a tower of blocks; they don't give up. In fact, one of Jaimie's favorite expressions is "I practice, practice, practice 'til I do it too". Working with my girls in learning new things has taught me to stick with things for a bit longer instead of giving up after a few tries. Maybe on the next try I'll do it but how will I know if I give up too soon?

(3) A child's sense of honesty: I realize this changes with age but if I hear Jordhan crying when I'm not in the same room, Jaimie will tell me whether she was the cause of the crying. All kids will test the boundaries on this one down the road but young ones seem to be willing to tell you she did something. Most heart-grabbing is how they can just say how they feel and what they think. Obviously some decorum will be need to be taught - you don't want your toddler telling other people they smell, for example. But I just love how they can come over to you and say: "Mama, I sad" and want to talk about it. They'd put relationship counselors out of business.

(4) The little things: Children don't worry about stuff. They explore, enjoy themselves, find fun in the most mundane activities and beauty in things we never think of. They notice little things we ignore like a cat walking by the front door, the consistency of mud and how totally hilarious words like "beep" and "peek-a-boo" are. Adults should devote more time seeing these little things children notice. It's inspiring to see the world through a different perspective.

(5) Love me tender: There will always be sibling rivalry. But toddlers seem to have genuine concern for another person when they're upset or crying. If Jordhan is crying, for example, Jaimie will hug her and say: "Oh, Jordy, tweetie. You be ok." Jaimie won't hug anyone else but she'll hug her baby sister. Jordhan has been known to have a tender moment here or there too. Once I was trying to calm Jaimie down (not an easy task on the best of days) and Jordhan came up and rubbed her back with me. They'll even try to make each other laugh when they're sad. From their interactions, children are showing us even though people fight, we still love each other.

(6) Appreciation: Children appreciate anything and everything - no matter how small. Jordhan gets excited and screams if you just get her a cup of juice. Little ones run up and give you big hugs just for taking the time to pay attention to what they're showing you. It is such a wonderful feeling to know no matter how unappreciative the rest of the world may seem a toddler loves what you do for him.

(7) Go on a toddler expedition: Children love to explore - up close and personal - they ask questions and are seldom tired of learning. Even something like a leaf on the ground is so interesting: you can throw it up in the air and watch it flutter down; rip it apart; spin it between your fingers; step on it or even taste it (I wouldn't recommend this one for everything). It can make a ten- minute walk seem more like an hour but it's truly amazing to see the world through new eyes.

(8) Focus on today: Toddlers don't think about what needs to be done later, tomorrow or even next week (that's what they have us for). They focus on and enjoy what they're doing in the moment. They don't let a future nap or icky doctor appointment ruin the fun of stuffing a mittful of snow in their mouths. Or throwing mud all over the patio. Or spinning around in circles until they walk funny. They live each day to the fullest. This is a valuable lesson adults should take note of.

(9) "I sorry": One thing that really touches me is how forgiving these little creatures are. One minute they're fighting over a toy they both want, the next minute they're hugging each other. Even if we have to discipline them for a wrong doing (Jordhan, for example, feels the need to express her artistic talents by drawing on any stationary object with crayons), they always come up and hug us later on. They don't like people being mad at them so they work hard to forgive and be forgiven. That doesn't mean they don't hold grudges - my girls don't forget anything. But things are more fun when everyone is happy and getting along, another lesson adults can benefit from.

(10) Unconditional love: I didn't fully understand what unconditional love was until I had my girls. They don't care what you look like or if you're having a "bad hair day"; if you're in sweatpants or a ball gown; if you smell; or if your skin breaks out. They love you. Period. On my most stressful days, my girls will run up to me with great big smiles and give hugs and for some reason, it makes even the worst problems seem not so bad.

At 36, I've finally learned to slow down a bit and "smell the roses". I find I run to keep up with my girls much more often now than the other way around. Now I point things out to them they run by without noticing. I know these times won't last forever because, sadly, one day soon they won't need me the same way they do now. So, as I've learned from my own beautiful girls, the best advice for parents is to slow down a bit and learn from their toddlers.