Ten Tips for Meeting Her Parents

Meeting her folks can make you a nervous wreck! Use these 10 tips to take away the stress and make a good impression when you meet her parents.

1. Be Clean. It should go without saying but we'll say it here anyway. Shower beforehand and comb your hair. Make sure your nails are clean. Forego the aftershave or cologne unless you're absolutely certain you know how to put on an adequate amount and no more than an adequate amount.

2. Dress for Success. Don't worry. Her parents know you're a young man and they know how young people dress; there's no need to show up in a suit unless for some reason the occasion warrants it. However, it's imperative that the clothes you wear fit decently, are in good repair and are clean. No baggy pants hanging around your knees. No obscene T-shirts slogans allowed. No looking like you just rolled out of bed. Make sure all your parts are covered appropriately. Her parents don't want to know the answer to "Boxers or briefs?" And no baseball hats unless you make sure you take the hat off when you enter the house.

3. Be Prepared to Shake Hands. It's very important that you shake her father's hand and say something along the lines of, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. ______." Offer your hand to her mother as well. Be sure you know her parents' names before you ever step foot in the house. Nowadays there are all kinds of blended families and other interesting circumstances around and you can't assume that your girlfriend's last name is the same as her dad's or even her mom's. Find out their names beforehand and sear them into your memory. It can save you an awkward moment and the ease with which you remember her parent's names will be quietly impressive.

If her parents invite you to call them by their first names, go ahead. As a parent I can tell you that if we weren't comfortable with it, we wouldn't invite you to do it. It's that easy for us. By the same token, however, don't be alarmed if her parent's don't invite you to use their first names; not everyone is comfortable with the informality that using first names implies. Calling her parents, "Mr. and Mrs._______," denotes your respect and reinforces their position in relation to you, the boyfriend. Don't take it personally; it's a parent-thing.

4. Be Prepared To Answer Questions. Questions about how you met their daughter, what you study/studied in school, where you work, where you live and so forth. Odds are they know most of this information already; believe me, either mom or dad or both have spent some time already talking about you with their daughter and ferreting out as much information as they can. Now they want to hear your version.

Don't be afraid. This doesn't mean that her parents expect you to show up toting a straight-A report card, a successful career and a life plan. They've been around the planet a lot longer than you and they understand that you're just starting out and still exploring which directions to take. They just want reassurance that you're a young man with his head screwed on straight. They want to know that you have goals and things you want to accomplish. They don't want their daughter dating a bump on a log or a slacker.

5. Share About Yourself. Be prepared to discuss your interests if her parents ask. It doesn't matter if your interests are vastly different than her parent's. As a matter of fact, it would be rather weird if they weren't. So if your interest is designing video games, go ahead and talk about it. It doesn't really matter if her parents understand what you're talking about; they're mainly trying to gauge that you have a variety of healthy interests and have things over which you're enthusiastic.

6. Don't Try To Fake It. Don't make the mistake of trying to faking an interest in what her parents like to do. It won't work. You won't know what you're talking about, her parents will know it, and you'll be diminished in their eyes. Instead, if her dad likes fly fishing for example, ask a question. Even a simple one like, "What exactly is fly fishing?" will do. It shows you can carry on a conversation and have an interest in someone other than yourself.

7. Get Rid of the Potty Mouth. It doesn't matter if her parents are cursing a blue streak from the time you arrive until the time you leave. Their house, their rules. Besides, they're not out to impress you, nor are they required to be on their best behavior. They have nothing to prove. You, on the other hand, do. It is never appropriate for you to let the bad language fly.

8. Turn Off the Cell Phone. Do not, under any circumstances but an emergency, stop the conversation to text or answer your phone. Meeting her parents is the most important thing you have going on and her parents expect you to treat the occasion as such.

9. Share Your Plans. Let her parents know what the two of you will be up to. Avoid phrases like, "We're going to my friend's house to hang out." It's way too vague. As a matter of fact, unless that friend of yours is also a friend of their daughter's and her parents know and like the friend and know there will be responsible adults around, you should refrain from mentioning this activity altogether. Hopefully you have a nice well-rounded evening planned that you don't mind sharing with her folks. You don't have to give a minute-by-minute account of your schedule but they do need to know where their daughter will be and with whom.

10. Ask About A Curfew Time. Be sure to ask her parents what time they would like their daughter back home. Once you have this curfew time, respect it! Her parents have just given you, a virtual stranger, permission to take out the daughter that they've loved, cherished and nurtured for the last 16+ years. They will be watching your behavior like a hawk. Don't dare to return their daughter late. Returning 10 minutes ahead of schedule is just fine; returning their daughter on the dot is okay. Returning her late equals a black mark on your record, especially if it's the first time they've met you.

Meeting your girlfriends' parents is never as awful as you think it'll be. Be polite, be yourself and let her parents see the person who attracted their daughter in the first place. Remember that her parents' primary concern is their daughter's safety and happiness. Let that become your concern as well and you'll do just fine. Parents aren't ogres; they just want to be sure you aren't one either.