Ten Tips on Moving with a Teen

Making a move from one school to another or from one town to another is often a tense situation for parents of teens. As parents there will definitely be days you will wonder if you will survive a move with a teen. In these critical formative years of life, teens often react tremendously to even small changes in the household situation so a major one like moving can be crushing. Parents must communicate with their teen, plan for handling issues as they come up, and establish a game plan for the family move. As a military family with seven children we have made many family moves, often with one or more teens in the household. The following tips are things we have learned over the moving years and should be useful in making a move with your teen.

Moving with a Teen Tip #1: Discuss the possibility of the move as early as it is known.

If there are options on locations for the move, discuss them with the entire family but reinforce the fact that final decisions remain with the parents. Discuss how each family member, including your teens, feel about the particular areas you may be moving to. Discuss concerns about the new location, and about the area being left behind.

Moving with a Teen Tip #2: Research the area you are going to.

Look at all information related to schools. In addition to the typical parent topics (how does the school rank, how well funded are they), also look at those things which your teen will likely be viewing. Look at the school web sites, what their mascot is, how their football team did this year. If your child is a band student, check to see if their instrument is one that is already a part of the band. If you have a teen with a big interest in foreign language, make sure the school in the area you consider teaches the language your teen is currently taking. Learn as much as you can about each of the schools you are considering. This way when your teen has a comment about an area you want to move to, you are informed enough to respond.

Moving with a Teen Tip #3: Determine if you must change school districts.

If you are just making a local move, you should research where the school district line is. Sometimes neighboring school districts operate on different school calendars, or have different graduation requirements. Moving with your teen will be less stressful if you know early on, which areas will make graduation plans more difficult.

Moving with a Teen Tip #4: Look at the School Calendar

You may not think moving on a certain day matters but the school calendar is very important. Particularly if you are changing to a school where the classes started much earlier or much later than your current one did. You could be faced with arriving at your new location after 1^st semester exams occurred when your current school had not reached that point. It makes high school transition very difficult for your teen. Also, if you can move at the beginning of the semester for the new school, your teen can get all assignments as they occur and not have to do an inordinate amount of make up work for things taught before they arrived. It's critical to talk to the counselor at the school you are arriving to, in order to insure your teen will get credit for the classes they are currently taking.

Moving with a Teen Tip #5: Research Hobbies and After School Activities

If your youngest is a remote airplane flyer and your oldest is a soccer fanatic, it's in your best interest to know what the new town has for those activities. By gathering these bits of information, you will be able to reassure them that their life wont be totally different by making this move.

Moving with a Teen Tip #6: Check out the Churches and Community Activities

If your teen is actively engaged in specific church or community activities at your current location, look into what options you will have at the new location. Find a few you think your teen may like and allow them to email or call for more information. The key to making a move with a teen go smoothly is communication. The more information you give them, the easier they can process what they need to do to accept this.

Moving with a Teen Tip #7: There's No Cable Internet????

This one is sticky. One of the biggest problems we encountered as we began the process of moving was the reduction in the amount of electronic connections we had to share. Today's teens are connected to their friends through their cell phones, they web pages, My Space, Facebook, email and other electronic means. By cutting the connection in order to get on with the move, you have changed their world tremendously. If possible leave your current home connection available until you are gone. If you have a laptop, keep it with your things going in the vehicle. If you think it may be a while before you get your household goods, keep one other computer to travel in the car with you. The desktop can't be used on the road but once you arrive at destination and can get cable connection established, you will be thankful to have more than one computer for the teen and other family members to use.

Moving with a Teen Tip #8: Review your cell phone plan

Determine when your plan needs to renew. Do not renew close to the time you are leaving. You may decide you need numbers in the local area you move to, or you may decided to leave the existing numbers so that your teen can easily contact their friends. With cell phones most do not have to worry about huge long distance bills, but you should check to be sure your minutes limit is sufficient to cover the calls your teen will be making.

Moving with a Teen Tip #9: Make a Scrapbook

Help your teen get pictures of their friends printed and placed into a scrap book. Having memories to look at in those first few months after the move make it easier on your teen.

Moving with a Teen Tip #10: Be Patient

Yes it may be hard; yes your teen may not accept this move willingly. Just remember this is a tough time in their life and change is not always welcome. With time they will find what they like about the new location and will make friends to add to those they left behind. Be Patient, talk to them when they are open to discussion and do not avoid telling them things which are already decided.

Moves can be stressful on everyone and even more so on teens and parents of teens. A little planning and communication can help reduce that teen moving stress.