Ten Tips for Parents Helping Their Child Deal with Bullies at School

Steven Moneyworth
Bullying always has been and always will be present in schools. It's important for children to know how to deal with bullies at school regardless of whether or not they are being bullied. In this article, I provide ten tips for parents trying to help their children cope with bullying at school.

Dealing With School Bullies Tip #1 - Listen To Your Child
The first and foremost thing you can do to help your child deal with bullying at school is to listen to him or her if he or she comes to you with a problem. You can't help your child to deal with a problem of which you are unaware. And if your child is having problems with school bullies, you listening will mean a lot to him or her.

Dealing With School Bullies Tip #2 - Determine What The Problem Is
If you find out that your child is being bullied at school, you'll want to find out what exactly is going on. How is he or she being bullied? Who is the bully? Where does the bullying take place at school? At what time of day does the bulling occur? For how long has the bullying been going on? As a parent, it's hard to address a topic such as school bullying without being well-informed, and getting as much information as possible will help you determine how to advise your child or address the situation yourself.

Dealing With School Bullies Tip #3 - Document The Problem
Documenting bullying at school is extremely important, especially if your child is being bullied physically. You may wish to keep a written record of any incidents that occur, as well as taking photos of anything like bruises or scrapes on your child that result from bullying. If you have to go to school officials, it is extremely useful if you have thoroughly documented a history of bullying.

Dealing With School Bullies Tip #4 - Teach Your Child Passive Resistance Tactics
Teach your child ways to deal with the bully that will hopefully neutralize any future encounters. For example, you could teach your child not to respond to any verbal provocation and to go to an area of the school where adults are present. If bullies can't get a rise out of your child, it's likely that they'll focus their attention elsewhere. Nonetheless, it is a good idea for your child to move to an area where teachers or other authority figures are present.

Dealing With School Bullies Tip #5 - Discourage Physical Violence
Physical violence is looked down upon in any school. Even if your child is acting in self-defense, school officials will typically punish any student that is caught fighting. This is why passive resistance is important. However, let your child know that it is okay to fight back if he or she has no other choice and physical harm could result if he or she does not. Again, discourage it unless there is no alternative.

Dealing With School Bullies Tip #6 - Talk To Your Child's Teacher
It's important to communicate with your child's teachers if bullying is occurring at school. They might be able to shed some light on what is happening, and they may also be able to intervene and prevent further bullying.

Dealing With School Bullies Tip #7 - Talk to the Bully's Parents
If one particular bully is giving your child problems, try to communicate with his or her parents. They may be unaware that their child has bullying tendencies and appreciate being informed. However, the bully's parents might also be in denial about about the existence problems or might be reluctant to do anything to stop the bullying. Nonetheless, this avenue is better explored earlier than later.

Dealing With School Bullies Tip #8 - Go to School Officials
If your child is being bullied at school and talking to your child's teachers and the bully's parents is ineffective, it's time to go to school officials. Bullying that occurs on school premises is usually handled very seriously, with suspension being one of the most common disciplinary actions, and expulsion for extreme cases.

Dealing With School Bullies Tip #9 - Consider Counseling
Bullying at school can be traumatizing for any number of reasons. If you think that your child would benefit from it, consider counseling. There may be a guidance counselor at the school that would be able to provide this service for free, or you could look at counselors outside of the school district.

Dealing With School Bullies Tip #10 - Consider Switching Schools
As a last resort, consider transferring your child to another school. If there are multiple bullies or your child endures a long period of bullying with no response on the part of school officials, you should look into a transfer or homeschooling, if possible. Children shouldn't be taught to run from problems, but they shouldn't be forced to endure severe mental and emotional anguish.

It is likely that any child will have to deal with bullying at school in some form or another. Hopefully these tips will help you advise him or her and will bring about a positive result to an otherwise negative experience. Do you have any other tips for parents trying to help their children deal with bullying at school? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of a comment. Thank you for reading!

Published by Steven Moneyworth

I am studying Chemistry at the University of Pittsburgh and plan on attending medical school after college. Follow me on Twitter at @acsamzolin.  View profile

3 Comments

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  • Pattie Byrd7/28/2009

    Good thoughts. That's a hard thing to deal with as a parent, but it must be taken care of quickly because there are probably other children in the same boat.

  • Karen Jurewicz7/28/2009

    Great tips! I went through it with my youngest daughter a couple of years ago.

  • Ellen Burford7/28/2009

    Excellent tips

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