Ten Tips for Parents of an Only Child

I grew up in a rural location as an only child. Friends lived miles away from me. My parents bought me some great sports activity sets, but I never appreciated them because it seemed I had no use for them. Now that I am a parent, I have only one child. I know the plight of being an only child very well and understand why my daughter is in constant need of my attention. At times, she can be extremely demanding. Her grandmother asks why she needs so much of my time! The answer is that she doesn't anyone else to consume her time and attention.

If you are the parent of an only child, or if you have a child who has siblings with a considerable age difference, you should be aware of the loneliness that can affect your child from time to time. Here are just a few ways you can minimize the loneliness that comes along with being an only child.

1. Introduce your child to play groups, or start a play group. Be sure to have the children come to your house as well as letting your child go to their houses. It's important for your child to be able to share his or her life and toys with friends just as it is important for him or her to be able to experience that of others.

2. Take your child to a park or to a kid-friendly place on a regular basis. If your child knows that he or she will be going to this place every Saturday, for example, he or she will feel more confident in knowing that social interaction will indeed happen.

3. Let your child become involved in community or religious organizations. It's important for your child to be able to share the act of volunteering time with other children around the same age group.

4. Be thoughtful when buying gifts for your child. Have a plan in mind before buying your only child a badminton set. For example, let your child know you are prepared to have friends come over on certain days, or that you will let him or her go to the park on certain days to play it with someone. Try not to just give two-player games to your child without knowing how your child will be able to get some use out of it. It can be fairly frustrating having things such as those sit in the closet for months on end.

5. Be prepared to be more lenient when it comes to social activities. If you had several siblings growing up, you may recall your parents being limited in how many activities you could participate in, or how often you were allowed to have company or visit friends. Your only child may become more insistent on being involved in school activities or in visiting friends. Keep in mind that your only child may need to do these things more often.

6. You may need to become the soccer mom/dad! There has been a lot of talk about the busy schedules of children these days. Between soccer practices, Karate classes, dance classes, band practices, Etc, children are being overwhelmed with activities. Your only child may be the exception, though. He or she doesn't have the added stress of dealing with siblings, fighting for phone or computer time, or for other things that siblings often argue about. Extra activities will not only help your child to learn some interesting disciplines, but can be a great way to satisfy your child's need to interact with other children in his or her age group.

7. Consider exchange programs with your child's school. Your child may get the chance to live with someone who has siblings away from home, and may get the chance to have a child live with him or her for a short while.

8. Be sure to spend some time with your child each day. Whether you do a craft, throw a ball, or dance like a fool with your child, any small amount of quality time you spend with your child, whether an only child or not, is precious. It is especially important to be aware of how much time you are spending with your child if you have an only child.

9. Introduce your child to some solitary entertainment. We are all usually quite aware of team-sports, games, and other activities, but there are some things out there that can keep someone entertained without having to scour the neighborhood for willing participants. Piano lessons, poetry or art classes, golf lessons, and swimming lessons all offer avenues for your child that don't necessitate two or more people.

10. Ask your child questions. Find out if your child is lonely by asking some open ended questions such as, "what kind of things would you like to participate in?" or "What cool ideas do you have about things we can do to keep you busy?" Also, let your child know that you are aware that being an only child might be lonely at times. Ask him or her if he or she ever feels that way, and what you can do to help.