Ten Tips - Transitioning from Elementary to Middle School

Children, like adults, don't always take change very well. However, in any life, at any age, change is inevitable. Every year students leave one grade and move to the next grade. This can be especially traumatic if children are transitioning from elementary to the middle school. If parents will implement a few easy and meaninful tips, it may very well lessen the trauma of this all-important step-up to another educational level.

Tip No. 1: Meet the teacher. Think about it. A child has been with the same teacher for nine months. He/she gets used to that person and may be extremely attached to her. Giving up that familiarity is often difficult. It is a great idea to meet with any new teacher(s) before the school year begins. Have your child introduce herself to her teacher. Get to know the new teacher, not just as an instructor. Does she have a family? What are her hobbies? What did SHE do on her summer vacation? Getting to know the teacher takes away the mystery and the fear of this new person who will soon be playing an important role in a child's life.

Tip No. 2: Who will be in his class? There might be a good friend who is in the same class or maybe someone who is an acquaintance. When arriving at new surroundings, it is always comforting to see a familiar face. Let the children spend some time together before the start of the school year, renewing a friendship or beginning one. "Safety in numbers" definitely applies here.

Tip No. 3: Take the tour. Many school buildings are quite large and to a child, extremely overwhelming. Many students fear getting lost or being unable to find their classes. Find time before the beginning of the school year to spend at least a couple of hours touring the building. Walk the hallways and into the classrooms. If a student has his schedule, allow him to walk to where his classes will be, first with an adult, then on his own. This would be an excellent time to bring a friend who is also in the same class.
Some schools will bring their transitioning students to the new school for a tour at the end of the school year. If so, then refresh your child's memory with another tour in the summer.

Tip No. 4: Rest, rest, and more rest. Children need plenty of sleep year-round, but even more when school is in session. Plan for bedtime changes at least two to four weeks before school begins. A child has enough on his plate this time of year, without adding fatigue as well.

Tip No. 5: Let them go. Parents often tell me, "I'm the one having trouble with this change." This is oh so true. It's another milestone for a child and another step towards independence. Be positive and upbeat about this change with your child. There's no harm in letting a child know that this change can be hard for both of you, but don't dwell on it. A child needs to understand that change is part of growing up. It can be uncomfortable at first, but it is usually exciting and fun once the mystery of change has subsided.

Tip No. 6: Take care of fees and paperwork. The sooner this is done, the better. These are necessary things and should be done as soon as possible. If not, the teacher will begin asking the child about these things, notes will be sent home, and round and round it goes. If a parent can get all of this taken care of before school begins--great. If not, then the teacher gets stressed and passes that along to the student who doesn't have fees/paperwork turned in. So git 'er done!

Tip No. 7: Allow them to vent. In the first week or two, some students are feeling overwhelmed and stressed from school and its requirements. Students need to vent at home and parents need to let them. The mistake some parents make though is to take this venting and run with it. The parent calls the school, the teacher, the superintendent, etc. Now the teacher is not feeling very endeared to the child and we're off to a bad start. Don't take a child's anger too seriously. Listen, give comfort, and let it go. In most cases, a student will also let it go.

Tip No. 8: Develop good habits. Get into a routine of doing homework at a certain time and in a certain place. Keep necessary papers in a notebook or a folder. Find a routine and stick with it. Follow the teacher's guidelines and rules; this will foster those good habits and give a student more confidence. He'll spend more time learning and less time wondering what he did with that study sheet the teacher passed out in class at the beginning of the week.

Tip No. 9: Check in with the teacher. After a week or two, give the teacher a call or send a note. Find out if things are going well. If they are--no worries. If not, then what are the problems? Work with the child's teacher to alleviate problems. The parent may need to have a conference with the child's teacher. By putting their heads together, they can come up with a plan for the student. It is important to work with the teacher--not blame her. Oftentimes, this happens and everyone loses. Working as a team, adults can find solutions to minimize problems or eliminate them altogether.

Tip No. 10: Meet the counselor. If a child is not making the adjustment to middle school, then it's time to meet with the school counselor. A good counselor can usually figure out what is troubling a middle schooler and work through problems. However, most students, given an appropriate amount of time, not only adjust to middle school, but thrive there.

Middle school is an exciting, albeit overwhelming time for students. Following these guidelines should help children take this all-important leap with fewer problems and more confidence in dealing with their new surroundings.