Ten Unforgettable George Carlin Quotes

America lost a comedy legend last night when George Carlin passed away from heart failure at the age of 71. Always the voice of the everyman, Carlin brought locker room talk to the people, daring to take on any controversial subject thrown at him to bring a smile to the faces that hung on every word. From religion to government to censorship, nothing was safe from Carlin's dry, sarcastic delivery, leaving broken barriers littering every road he traveled. George Carlin will be truly missed!

But how do you celebrate the life of a man who made it a point to side step the mainstream? At first, I thought that it would be fitting to put together a top ten list of his best quotes, but that would be hypocritical to everything that Carlin stood for in life. Instead, I figured it would be best to simply put together a list of ten completely unforgettable quotes from the now legendary, George Carlin.

- I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

- Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!

- By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

- "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

- If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.

- If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

- People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

- Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

- I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

So George, here's to hoping you were sitting next to the bathroom when you were next to Death and that your sun worshipping ways lead to a great afterlife!