Ten Vital Principles of Friendship

Jesus Christ defined love and friendship by these words. "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." We all like to be considered friendly by others. Friendship is beyond definitions. It is the vital essence of human life.

The essence of friendship and getting along with people is to cultivate the ability of placing yourself in their place, and acting accordingly. To be liked, one must be ready to make himself likable. That is why Epicurus, the great philosopher, pointed out, "Of all the means to insure happiness throughout the whole of life by far the most important is the acquisition of friends."

Ten Vital principles of friendship

1) Try to understand and make others feel important. Since verybody in the world wants to be treated important, be generous with praise and recognition of their accomplishments.

2) On your part, be friendly and congenial to others. Always arguing or striking up a quarrel on the least excuse may irritate any friendship and cause damage. Listen to others and encourage them to talk about themselves their families, interests, problems and experiences.

3) Appreciate others. Make them feel that they enjoy your appreciation, advice and help. Let them know that they are important to you.

4) Friendship should be real. It should be fostered in heart and not by mere lip service. Selfish motivated friendships will dwindle and disappear.

5) Your words should be reliable and faithful. Always keep your word, no matter how difficult the circumstances may be. Your faithfulness should enable them understand and depend on you more. Make them assured and realize that you will go to any lengths to keep your promise.

6) Do not desert and betray your friend in any situation. Betrayal is the death blow and shatters any friendship. Never betray a confidence, whether deliberately or unintentionally. Never be carried away by the gossip mongers' false tales. The habit of talking carelessly, of not being able to keep a secret, is at the root of friendships breaking up.

7) Thiruvalluvar, a famous Tamil saint poet, says about the greatness of friendship, "Friendship should be timely like the hand protecting ones shame when the towel slips from the loin." Stand by your friend in his distresses and adversities. It is in adversities that true friends are known.

Try to help your friends in as many ways as possible. Let them feel that they have some one who cares them really.

8) Friendship should not be flattered. . Some people don't like their mistakes to be corrected, as it gives them a sense of inferiority. It is the duty of a friend to correct him properly whenever he deviates. But in correcting your friend, you should not go out of your way to call attention to the faults of your friend, unless this can be taken in the proper spirit.

9) Do not forget that only constructive criticism can be of much help, provided it is appreciated and not taken as a wounding remark. Always try to share a common interest with your friend. This will serve as a bond, and also act as the motivation for many shared activities. Many friendships spring up on a playing field, in an art gallery, or in a club which caters to common interests.

10) Proper understanding between friends is the soul of friendship. Try to understand your friend's mind, his likes and dislikes, and his moods. Try to adjust yourself, though you do not have to tolerate any undesirable attitude. Tolerance is one of the foundations upon which friendship is built, as no one is absolutely perfect.