Ten Ways for a Grieving Family to Celebrate Christmas

When you lose a loved one, it's important to make Christmas plans so that the family doesn't get too depressed. When my Mother died during the end of Summer, I asked my brothers and sister to plan on celebrating Christmas at my home, and I took care of all the dinner preparations. I even planned on having everyone attend the same Christmas day mass as a family in her memory. I planned on making our traditional turkey dinner with Dad's homemade stuffing recipe which Mom used to also make so that no one would be missing the usual cooked meal. It's important to have as many things from your family's traditional meal as you can, at least for the first Christmas.

When I made these plans, I knew that it would be hard to live up my Mom's traditional Christmas dinner, but I made sure I had plenty of pictures from our parent's life around in albums so that we could reminisce about all the wonderful times we had with Mom and Dad before they passed away. I also had pictures of Mom and Dad from before they married and had us. I checked with everyone to make sure that it was okay that I use some of my Mom and Dad's things at my home too, like decorations and servings bowls. I planned on having my family help with taking pictures from our newest Christmas celebration too.

We had everything that Mom and Dad had cooked for Christmas. I asked my Sister to arrive early to help with the cooking very early in the morning for the early afternoon dinner, the same time my parents had always had it. I cooked a few things ahead the day before, like whole berry fresh cranberry sauce and candied yams.

Although I knew that I could never replace my Mom as head of the family, I know I really helped my family get through the grieving process. There was plenty of reminiscing at the dinner, and tears were shed at the Christmas Day mass, but I also had made plans to celebrate our Mom's November birthday ahead of time, and everyone came to mass for that.

We made phone calls to other members of the family after dinner to wish them a merry Christmas, like our cousins from both sides of the family. I had also invited my church friends to come because they were widowed, and they brought their own new sparkle to the celebration. Donna, who happens to be blind, works as a secretary and has a wonderful sense of humor, and she brought some of her stories with her. Fran and her daughter, Maria, came, and they love to chatter and enjoy the holidays so much that it's contagious. I was surprised at how great the camaraderie was when the traditional Merlot wine was passed around! I had music playing softly throughout the celebration with Christmas carols, which Mom and Dad had always done.

Everyone helped themselves to plenty of food, and they all enjoyed the tree that my Sister and I had decorated earlier, borrowing some of Mom and Dad's decorations. After dinner, we took our young niece to the park across the street to toss the ball around. This had been another traditional thing that we wanted to carry on. So, when you want to celebrate Christmas even though you've lost a loved one, it's important to remember to include many of the things your loved one did for the holiday!