Ten Ways to Know You're Staying in a Cheap Motel

Spring Break may be coming to a close for quite a few people.   But the summer months are still ahead, and soon hordes of people 

will be lining up at the nation's airport gates, and gas stations, ready to embark upon a sumptuous (and possibly long overdue) vacation.

If you're one of these people, you may have just booked your hotel room.   Perhaps the hotel is a quaint little out-of-the way Bed & Breakfast, 

dedicated to spoiling its customers.   More than likely, you'll probably find yourself in one of the country's popular hotel/motel 

chains famous for its crumbly biscuits and napkin-sized bath towels.   These motels are great for the occasional stop-over 

because they are often so inexpensive.   But you know you're REALLY staying in a cheap motel when any of the following 

things occur...

#10 - Amenities listed in the brochure include hot water, TV, and carpeting...

With "amenities" like these, you might be better off at a local campground.   At least there, you know that the "toilet" 

is functional.

#9 -  The water in the hot tub/pool has become a gel.
If you have ever visited a rural "luxury" motel during off-season, you've probably seen more than your fair share of these.

#8 -  The "conference room" is the lobby.
Since when did your last office meeting take place in a room with road maps and gumball machines?

#7 -  When you request a Non-Smoking room, you're given "The Patch."  Enough said.

#6 -  The "concierge" requests how many hours you'll be staying. If the motel you've chosen seems to be filled with "married couples," 

you might want to choose other lodging.

#5 -  You have to "rent" extra towels.

When there is an extra fee associated with the procurement of clean extra towels, you may as well have brought your own.

#4 -  Your room is full of nice plants...but they're growing from the carpeting.

No, that's not a planter filled with those lovely mushrooms and weeds.   It's actually the air-conditioning unit. 

#3 -  The sheets are moving before you get into them.  If this occurs while your room is empty, you've really got problems.

#2 -  That "smell" in your room has officially become a solid.

You've complained to management about the horrific odor in your room, only to have them spray liberally Lysol.   

Now, the smell has taken on a life of its own.

#1 -  There are still scraps of yellow crime scene tape stuck to various surfaces... This is always, always, always---a bad sign.