Ten Ways To Mess With People's Minds

1) While in your car, roll down your windows and play an ominous selection of instrumental music at a relatively high volume. The Imperial March from Star Wars works best. Laugh maniacally. A great time to do this during summer, when everyone within your immediate vicinity has their windows down and will hear. 'Tis best not to do this too often, though, so as not to disturb people unduly.

2) Stay up till 2:00 AM. Go shopping in Wal-Mart. Enjoy the lack of people in the aisles.

3) Memorize the words to a song from a movie. Sing it while walking through the parking lot, shopping at a grocery store, or going about your daily routine at work. This is especially effective if the song is one of the "villain-songs" from Disney. An example would be "Be Prepared" from the movie The Lion King.

4) Politicize something which is not remotely political. For example, use Disney's The Lion King as an argument for libertarian economics. Is the song "Hakuna Matata" an example of crypto-anarchism or early-Coolidge laissez-faire economics? Discuss.

5) Develop a British accent. Insert it randomly in normal conversations with your friends. See if they notice.

6) Carry a slinky around with you. When someone asks why, tell them that you're psychologically bonded to it, like some sort of alien symbiotic relationship.

7) Walk up to a random group of people, listen to their conversation for a moment, and then, all of a sudden, shout the phrase "I hate penguins!". Run away really fast, before they have time to recover from their shock.

8) If you happen to belong to one of the prevailing political ideologies of the day (liberal or conservative), without warning, tell your friends you've changed your mind. For example, if you're a liberal, say that you've seen the light and you believe George W. Bush is not really that bad, all things considered. Conversely, if you're a conservative, say that you've decided to vote for Hillary Clinton. Maintain your new way of thinking until you've convinced your friends that your conversion is genuine. Then switch back and watch them go mad.

9) Write your own superhero stories. Give your heroes and villains offbeat powers and names: Anteater Man, for example. Tell people about them, and assert that your superheroes are so much cooler than Batman.

10) Make up your own religion. This is not to disparage any of the other great ones out there at all; still, it's got to be fun to have your very own. Extra points if you give your deity a creative name such as, say, the Great Green Hamster God. Bless people in its name and enjoy their reactions.