Ten Ways to Reward Your Tween

That delicate age of children just before they turn into teenagers can be a tough time for parents. We've spent their lives so far trying to encourage and motivate them onto the right paths. Now that they are "tweens," we want to make sure that we continue on with what we've been doing. Rewarding them for good behavior or outstanding achievements is an excellent way to keep them motivated in the right direction. Everyone, after all, wants a special treat after a job well done. Here are ten ways to reward your children and keep them interested in doing the right things.

Allowance

For me, personally, this has been a great help to me in motivating my children to help me around the house. They are expected to keep their rooms clean, but if they do more than what is expected, then they, in turn, can expect to be paid for it. I have given my children a list of chores that they can do to keep their allowance coming. Doing the dishes, sweeping or vacuuming, laundry, dusting, feeding our pets -- these are just a few of the things that they are expected to do to be paid. If they do a good job, we reward them with $5 to $10 dollars at the end of the week, depending on how much work they have done. You have to remember to keep it fair or they will lose interest.

Money for School

Good grades are so important. We want our children to be well equipped for the real world, and education is key to that. In the real world, after all, our paychecks and promotions are usually affected by our performance at work. At report card time we reward our children with $5.00 for every "A". We know that our children are capable of "A"s, so that is the only grade we reward for. We also give 25 cents for every "A" on a test, but we have to see the grade before we give out the cash. Going about it this way keeps our children motivated not only to study for tests, but also to pay attention in class, and doing well with their homework.

Shopping!

This is a pretty big reward, in my humble opinion. It takes a lot of responsibility to take care of this pet. My daughter just got a new kitten because she proved to me that she could keep her room clean, clean up after herself, and keep a good attitude about both. We were having problems in these areas. Once she proved that she could be responsible over a period of time, then we rewarded her with the responsibility of taking care of a much wanted new pet.

Having a Friend Over or a Party

I'm sure that if we parents had a dollar for every time our children said "I want that," we'd be up to our eyeballs in dollars. We know what our kids want, so why not use it as a reward? This is an especially nice reward for those things that are more difficult for your child to do on his or her own. For example, a few years ago we moved. The children were very upset about it, and their attitudes were terrible. We told the children that if they kept a positive attitude about the move, and helped us we would reward them with a $100 shopping spree at their favorite store. The change was immediate. We got two helpful, smiling kids, and they got a lot of new stuff!

Matching

My children have holes in their pockets that their money has burned in them. We don't like that. We want our children to have a healthy view of money and a concrete habit of saving it. To help them along this path, we have agreed to match their money. For every dollar they save, we give them an additional 25 cents to go with it. That may seem very small, but it adds up quickly. It turns $100 into $125. We have also utilized this to help the children save their money to buy things they want. For example, both of the children wanted a WII when they first came out. We told them that if they saved up enough money to cover 75% of the cost, then we would make up the difference. They got their WII.

Movies

There have been a lot of good movies in theaters the past few years, and my children have wanted to see every one of them. Instead of just hopping in the car and going to see them, the kids have to earn it. We have interchanged this reward with the shopping reward or paying them.

Special Trips

Places like the zoo, the aquarium, the arcade, favorite restaurants, or even to the salon for a manicure are great ideas for rewards. Taking your child to one of these is a great reward for getting a grade up in a hard subject or another similar accomplishment.

A New Pet

This is a great reward for kids who can get their arguing or bad attitudes under control. There is something about that tween age that makes them argue. Once my son hit it, he wanted to argue with anyone or anything. His favorite victim, however, was his sister. This simply would not do. We promised him that once we saw that he can treat his sister with respect and kindness then he could have a small party. We figure that if the punishment should fit the crime, then the reward should fit the achievement. If he could prove that he could be responsible for having a good attitude about and with other people, then he could be rewarded with their company. This included sisters.

Keeping a Possession

Like I mentioned before, my daughter had a hard time keeping her room clean. My husband and I wanted to pull our hair out at times because she would allow it to get so messy. One fateful day I went through her room with a garbage bag and put most of her toys in them, and carried them to another room. In tears, she promised that she would keep her room clean if we would give her things back. We found this idea acceptable, but added a twist. If she kept her room clean first, then she could have her things back., little bit by little bit. We stuck to our guns, and she stuck to hers. She kept her room (mostly) clean, and she got all her beloved possessions back.

The Family Vacation

I've saved the best for last. The family vacation can be a time of wonderful adventure or a time of utter chaos and misery. We have found that the best way to make sure it's fun, is to use it as a reward. Let's say, for example, that we are planning a road trip to the beach. If the children have had good attitudes and been responsible, then we take them shopping before the trip for special goodies. Special goodies would include a new game to play while we're driving, or a new outfit, a cool kite for the beach, special goodies for snacks, or a combination of them all. If they are good while we're driving, then we'll make special stops along the way and once we get there just for them.

Discipline is necessary, but its not enough. If we want our children to grow up to be responsible, well rounded, balanced people we want them to be, then we have to reward them too. It gives them something to work toward, and helps them to stay focused and positive. Besides, I believe that every good parent wants to give their children the best. If we have them work for it, then we can give it to them.