Ten White Elephants to Make Your Christmas Bright

The ubiquitous white elephant is a perfectly useless item in the hands of one person but may be just what someone one else has this year on their Christmas list. If you have been invited to play "thieving Santa" - the game where everyone has the chance to steal a gift from another guest - then you will need to take along something that is useful but hopefully also funny. This list is provided to assist you in selecting the perfect gag item:

1. Alarm clocks - The funniest one I ever saw came from Saudi Arabia and was shaped like a mosque. Instead of ringing when it was time to wake up, a recording of the "call to prayer" blasted you awake. If that doesn't suit you, perhaps Mickey Mouse or Betty Boop would be a hit.

2. Ashtrays - The most interesting ones are sold at airport shops and are either shaped like or depict scenes of geographic interest. Who can live without an Eiffel Tower in which to rest their smokes?

3. Boxer shorts - The ideal pair would be decorated with amusing holiday scenes a la Rudolph shoveling snow or Santa deciding what to wear.

4. Calendars - Inexpensive calendars for the upcoming year are available at the Dollar Store. If you want to go for something really hilarious, calendar shops seem to spring up in the mall just before Christmas each season selling items with every theme under the sun.

5. Candies - A visit to a specialty candy shop will reveal some clever selections. Gummie-type candies may be shaped as cartoon characters or insects. Or you could spring for the actual creepy-crawlies that have been chocolate covered or otherwise made into delicacies.

6. Candles - An unusual shape will make the difference. Picture those candles that are sold at every amusement park, theme park, and carnival. You know the ones - they curl downwards, everyone thinks they need one as a souvenir at some point in their life, and no one every actually burns the things. Then they end up collecting dust on a shelf for the next 10 years.

7. Hats - Baseball caps come with pretty much any ridiculous phrase on the planet. Or you might want to pass along that pith helmet you bought but never have an occasion to wear.

8. Pens and Pencils - Those giant pencils spring to mind. Unique pens can often be found in discount stores. I once bought pens for my kids that had boxing dinosaurs at the top. When a button was pushed at the top, the dinosaurs' arms sprang out.

9. Ties - Not only can you find ties with nearly every scene but there are also ones made from unique materials like leather or wood. Or you might have a ghastly one hanging in your closet that you've never had the guts to wear and want to pass along.

10. T-Shirts - Again, you are looking for a slogan that will make the recipient and everyone else in the room laugh. My husband has one that says "10,000 men in my state applied for fishing licenses last year, but only 100 men applied for marriage licenses. This proves that fishing is 100 times more popular than marriage."

If this list doesn't help you decide on a perfect White Elephant, then I suggest a shopping spree to Spencers. May your gifts induce smiles and may your holidays be filled with good cheer.