Ten Worst Scary Movies Ever

Hannibal Lecter: "Brave Clarice. You will let me know when those lambs stop screaming, won't you?"

If you have lived under a rock for the past fifteen years (or perhaps in a cave if you are Osama Bin Laden) I will just go right ahead and remind you the above scene is taken from the cinematic scare-fest known as "The Silence of the Lambs." To this day I can watch this scene and I get chills not only from the intense performances evidenced by Jodie Foster and Sir Anthony Hopkins but also because this is one incredibly well written scary movie.

A film does not need to be gory or have an invincible "bad guy" in order for it to be the utterly terrifying. In fact, as "The Silence of the Lambs" proved, you really only need two top notch actors at the top of their game battling it out intellectually and an antagonist with a thing for hand lotion.

"The Silence of the Lambs" elevated itself beyond the thriller/horror genre and wound up winning an Oscar for Best Picture the year it was released. Too bad this happens about as often as Hillary Clinton wears leather mini-skirts.

The tradition of epically bad scary movies has existed as long as Hollywood with the horror sequels of the "Friday the 13^th" series and "The Blob" from the 1950's mere blips on this timeline of horrible-ness. Trying to create a true "master list" of the worst scary movies of all time is almost as impossible as finding meaning in the one-time stardom of Pauly Shore. (That was true horror.)

And no, before you ask this is not a "so bad it's good" list. I am sorry but that is why Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is not listed here as that movie is so heroically bad that it is endearing. Truly bad scary movies require a somewhat crass, vile and premeditated nature. This is just a "so bad it's bad and needs to never be seen by human eyes again" list.

But being that Hollywood is a land of dreams here are ten of the worst scary movies-just in hopes that one day we will again be lucky enough to see one of the best.

Flatliners-This film was such a disappointment because it had so much promise-medical students in Washington D.C. (Julia Roberts, Kiefer Sutherland and one of those Baldwins) learn a process where they can die and be brought back to life. Unfortunately for them, things come along with them. Unfortunately for us, it was just bad memories from their lives. Wait, I thought I paid for a scary movie and not an episode of "The Sally Jessie Raphael Show."

Enough-In one fell swoop Jennifer Lopez proved that her acting talent in "Selena" was truly a fluke and that this battered woman thriller had been done better countless times before.

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle-This mix of "Fatal Attraction" and "Nightmare Nannies" has one thing written all over it: Lifetime TV Movie of the Week.

Taking Lives-As with most Angelina Jolie movies this "Lambs" rip-off promised much but delivered on none of it. All of the elements were there (serial killer on the loose, twist ending) but what resulted was a bigger car crash than the marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin. Not even scary for a minute.

Jaws 3 in 3D-The only good thing about this movie is that it was the first lead role for Dennis Quaid. In this 3D version a shark somehow infiltrates a Sea World-like theme park. Because you know that is a big concern nowadays.

Kiss the Girls-Both Ashley Judd and Morgan Freeman need to stop trying to make decent thrillers. Seriously you two, just stop it. And someone needs to ban them from being in the same bad thriller together.

Basic Instinct 2-While "Showgirls" ranks atop the sleazy movie hall of fame for its odd references to Purina Puppy Chow and resolute bad-ass badness, "Basic Instinct 2" just makes no sense. Based on the concept of thrill addiction, this poorly conceived sequel to the sleazy original could have easily been written by a monkey with a typewriter.

Event Horizon-The title of this film refers to a boundary in space surrounded by a Black Hole that some conjecture we will one day be able to travel through in space craft. This premise starts out smartly enough but devolves into the ridiculous by turning Sam Neill into a pierced and bloody leather daddy hell bent on killing the crew of his spaceship. No, I am not joking.

Dracula 2000-No, this isn't a joke that really is the title and you guessed it right-this movie was released in the year 2000. Starring Gerard Butler before he got all buffed for "300" and started making out with Jennifer Aniston, "Dracula 2000" is easily the worst vampire film I have ever seen. (And I have seen way too many.) Hours are spent wasting film on backing shots of New Orleans, New Orleans businesses, New Orleans restaurants, the New Orleans "Virgin Megastore." We get it already! Your movie takes place in New Orleans!

30 Days of Night-Stick with me here. The vampires in this movie wander the frozen tundra of Alaska and wind up attacking a small town where Josh Hartnett is the sheriff. These vampires all have "fruit punch mouth" and by their vocal inflections they are either from Romania or are just really pissed off Israelis. Either way, after watching this gory schlock-fest I was also pretty pissed off. The worst part? A director more interested in trying out new shots than entertaining his audience.