Ten New Years Resolutions for a Redneck for the Year 2010

Here are the top ten resolutions for a "Redneck" for the year 2010. This list is in no certain order.

1.To understand the difference between a sanitary napkin, and a dinner napkin when helping the old lady set the table.

2 To stop wearing my "Baby Moon" weather protectant head gear; at least not outside..

3. That to become more diverse and accept the fact that cars exist besides the ones in "Nascar."

4. That it is ok not to hurt someone who will not eat mom's possum pie for dessert.

5. That if a person comes out of the closet, it does not mean that something was wrong with the closet door.

6. Not to antagonize Aunt Grace, by telling her that her cooking grease can become the greatest alternative to fossil fuel ever.

7. To take down that beloved poster of "Earl" off of my prison cell wall.

8. That I stop telling my Pastor when he uses a television to teach our church lessons that his TV is really just the Devil's box.

9. To finally agree to make my wife stop wearing her "Daisy Dukes" from 1975.

10. To give up "Bootleg" and accept "Goat weed."

Thank you. You could write back but I forgot my prison number. Any who Happy New Year!