Ten New Years Resolutions for the Single Mother

As a single mother, I realize that there are many ways not only myself, but other single mothers can make 2007 their year. These are not my resolutions entirely, I have heard other single mothers mentioning these and compiled a list of ten very excellent ideas for others in search of ideas.

10. Take Better Care of Self

This is a given. If you want to be feeling better (Not that you feel or look bad, this is just standard practice) give yourself a well deserved night ritual. Like a night 'at home' spa of sorts. This is best done at night because your children are asleep and you're finally able to unwind from a probably very chaotic and busy day. Every mother should have the ability TO look beautiful for themselves - not for others. If you don't feel positive about yourself, how on earth are you going to go out in the world and leave an impact? This can be as simple as a long bath with music playing or even just shaving your legs. You define what is beautiful to you and obviously, you'd know best in that department. But do anything that relaxes you - the rejuvenation will also make you a supermom, too. How? If you feel positive and have a 'take on the world' attitude, you'll just be succeeding in everything. Not to mention the alone time will make you also cherish the time you have with your young ones.

9. Don't let your family get you down

I don't mean children. No, how can your children ever let you down unless they're older and knock off a liquor store? I mean the other family members who sometimes get annoying with "when are you going to find someone to settle down with?" or "you can't do (whatever)." These people are miserable themselves. Keep that in mind every time in the next year that they do something or say something horrible to upset you. They may even be jealous. Whatever it is, ignore it. You need to remember that no matter what, a single mother can do almost anything a committed or married mother can - even more, honestly. A single mother can date if she wants. Well, so can the others but that's frowned upon. "You can't--" is a phrase you should just ignore if it's unsolicited advice. Remember above all else that your family merely wants what they feel is in your best interest, so try not to take it to heart.

8. Get your alone time daily

This is IMPORTANT. I can not emphasize why it is dire that every single mother (or taken, for that matter) have some alone time to herself each day. You selflessly take care of your children, home, and job all day and deserve the time to relax, unwind and just be. You can use this time for a spa, going online and chatting or even watching a movie. Veg out in the living room after hours like you did as a teenager if you need to. Go in your room, listen to music and write a letter to a friend you've been meaning to get back in contact with. Whatever gets you back in touch with you. By this I don't mean the super-mom I know you are. I mean deeper. You had interests before your children and there is bound to be one or two that you can still do now. Even if it's just writing poetry. Hey, after all writing can be quite the release. Might even have a knack for it.

7. Remodel a room

This is always a nice treat for both children and mom. Especially if you're a do-it-yourself person. It can be fun to remodel a room, especially the children's room. Kids grow, this is a somewhat sad fact of life, but as they grow it means you and your children can let your creativity soar. This also helps you weed out old things your children don't want or need anymore. Like a more fun version of spring cleaning. Besides, when it comes time to paint, the kids will adore this as much as you. Not only will the room begin to come together with this simple task, but it is quality time that you definitely want with your children. Play some music, have a blast. As long as things are done safely there is nothing to worry about.

6. More Family Time

Be sure to connect to your kids each day - even the older ones. Sometimes the older ones need it more than the little ones. Yes, that may seem strange, however it is true. Teenagers, especially, are in a very stressful, confusing time of life and it isn't always fun. Even if it's just a talk, make more family time happen. Games can make talking easier for everyone. No, game time is not tacky, don't let anyone tell you that. They're fun, entertaining and great for conversation. Snack foods and sodas and you're all set for a great night in. Or, if you want some out time, take the kids out to a nice family restaurant. Whatever it is, try to get some more family time in. I know it can be rough with having to work and be a housekeeper, too, but trust me. It is something that has to be done.

5. One night off every week or two

Every mom needs a night off. Yes, it's a job. I don't care what they say, being a parent in general is a full time, low paying job. Make that no-paying, except for the rewards of seeing children grow up. But at any rate, don't let people tell you that you don't deserve a night entirely to yourself. This is your night to go out. Away from the home with someone watching your children while you go out and enjoy life. You are single, after all. Nothing wrong with that AND if you have other female friends, go out and have a well deserved girls night. Don't worry about the children all night, just do the general call once to check in and be back out enjoying. Hit a movie, hit a club. Go shopping for you for a change. Stretch your legs and enjoy life. Also, if you're seeing a gentleman, perfect night for a date. You can prove to others that you can be a great single mother AND have a social life.

4. School

If you have a somewhat low, part time job or just a job that there's no way for advancement, consider part-time school. I know many mothers who do this and some have gotten really good jobs post graduation. Sometimes you have to sacrifice some time to do what you need to assure your children are provided for. College can be a pain to do, however, if you have the time, ability and desire to, there is no better time to do this than in the upcoming year. Don't feel bad about being older than the other students, in fact, you'd be surprised how many older people have opted to go back to college. I'm talking the over 50 crowd, too. This can be a great way to socialize with others and even learn something new. Just go in with the attitude of 'it is never too late' and you're good to go.

3. Get a better job

If you just aren't making ends meet at your current job, it's never a better time than the new year to get your resumes and cover letters out there. It never hurts even WITH a good job already to set your sights higher. Just be sure that you don't put in notice of quitting at one place until you are absolutely guaranteed hired at another job. Then, if the wages are higher you can put in your week or two notice and finish up. Getting a job doesn't mean you're greedy so nix that thought from your head. If it's something you love to do, especially, then it's a step forward in your life. You being happy at work makes you much happier at home and with yourself. When you feel good about one thing, everything else tends to fall into place.

2. Get into a good exercise regime

Exercise doesn't only make you feel good about yourself or make you look good physically. No way. It also makes you healthier in the long run. Who doesn't love something that's multi-purpose? This can be thrown into a whole, 'get in better shape lose weight' resolution which almost everyone has. It's perfect. Several resolutions in one. While it may take longer to accomplish, you just need to get into the regime. Why? It's also a positive example for your children and even other family members or co-workers. Even better than that, it can be something simple like walking on your lunch break at work or hitting the YMCA's pool three times a week. Exercise doesn't need to cost a lot of money (or any at all) so you have no excuse not to do it. Besides, if you do it, in the long run it means slimmer clothes and shopping! Win-win.

1. Accept help

We, as single mothers, can be quite stubborn at times. We can feel help as being unsolicited and extremely annoying. However, there are times that we NEED to accept help from others (such as an offer for a sitter for free or a donation from a food pantry) because we just can't do it on our own. Even if it's someone to help you with laundry folding. Accept it or you may just end up having a breakdown. Help does not mean you can't do it, but it does mean that you don't have to be so stressed. Besides, it can also be company too, which I know many single mothers crave for. Just remember that help comes in many forms and is a blessing at times.

New Years is just around the corner. Hopefully some of my suggestions pique interest and help some out in making their own resolution list. No matter what you resolve for the upcoming year, just remember that you can do it and you will. Keep that positive attitude with you and you're sure to make it. Happy New Year!