Tennis Anyone

Last weekend, I was privileged enough to get together with my family to celebrate one of my nieces birthday. We all gathered at my sister's home and while there, I witnessed my nephew and his significant other have a discussion about the mother's choice of disciplining their daughter. I was compelled to interfere and now that I think more about it, maybe it wasn't the best way to handle the situation. My mistake was immediately injecting my thoughts a not seeking a more adult way of doing it.

The child was disciplined by her mother and my nephew spoke quickly to defend the child. Immediately I opened my mouth to suggest that by doing that he could be leaving his daughter with the impression that it is okay to minimize her mother. I spoke too soon and instead should have requested a more solitary place to have that conversation with him.

I am quite aware that if there are two parents available children will seek the lesser of resistance when it comes to doing something or getting what they want. It's a lesson that many of us still carry today in adulthood. I also know that's very hard for caring parents to ever see their child in pain or hurting and many will take it personally. I know this because I too am a parent and this feeling is extremely strong in me. What we should do as a group is support the other in the presence of the child and later on when no one is listening discuss our disapproval with the other parent calmly and rationally. Make sure that they know that you will support them because it makes for a stronger and solid foundation for the child but there must be a conversation if one parent does not agree with the other.

Children are wonderful creatures and to just sit and watch them grow will give you hours upon hours of entertainment and yes, satisfaction. Children can also quickly learn to manipulate and that is something all parents need to be aware of. We are not perfect and we should never have all of the answers but we can all strive to do better when it comes to raising our children. We must be willing to step aside and allow our children to make mistakes and we must also be willing to answer to them when we make them. If you child knows that you make mistakes, they tend to learn better from the ones that they make. Your child will follow your lead and if you lead, they will certainly follow.