Terror Doctor and the Plastic Peril: Has Medicine Gone Wacky?

Has medicine gone wacky? Did someone take all the doctors and replace them will circus clowns? How else to you explain the doctor who implanted Nadya Suleman with eight embryos even though she was on welfare and already had six kids?

Furthermore, how did Jacko find some quack plastic surgeon to cut his nose off after he had enough surgery and "skin diseases" to make Mike Tyson look like Paris Hilton?

Moreover consider the war on reason, morality and ethics that George Bush called a war on terror. As part of this evil George Bush sanctioned both torture an lying about torture. Now in order to torture someone nearly to death, as per the Conservative/George Bush play book, you need a doctor to keep you from killing. I thought the Hippocratic Oath said "Do no harm." I guess the doctors who aided the Bush administration thought that rule did not apply to them.

There is reportedly a doctor who has a human powered car. It's not what you're thinking. It's not some Fred Flintstone pedal pusher nightmare. It's a whole other kind of nightmare. As you are well aware, most biodiesel engines are powered by some kind of cooking grease. Well it turns out that fat liposuctioned from people may do the job as well. Reminds of that movie wherein Charlton Heston is screaming "Soylent Green is people!"

I saw a show about keeping track of forgetful folks who have Alzheimer's. There was a touching scene about using a tracking device to find a lost senior. I had this development all wrong. I thought surely they would first convince mothers that the world was full of perverts who single minded purpose was abducting babies. Your only protection is to microchip your child so that we can find it before the kidnappers sell your kid on the black market. I really didn't think it would happen to seniors first. Oh yeah, and before the kids I thought they would chip soldiers and government contractors who have to work in foreign lands. I thought anyone who ran a high risk of being kidnapped would jump at the chance to let the police know where they were being held. Heck, if anyone in Mexico still has money and wants to keep it you'd think he'd be in a hurry to get his whole family chipped. The narco traffickers have gone hog wild on kidnapping down there.

Dr Phil. After his celebrity abusing antics is any one still watching this clown? Well I guess some can't turn away from the car wreck or from their desperate need to mind other people's business.

Attack of the Gray Goo. On some future day, there will be an accidental release of nanobots from a high tech laboratory. What are nanobots? Nanobots are tiny machines smaller than a human hair. The lab that makes these bots will create them with the best of intentions and for wonderful purposes. But the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry and the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Whether by accident or design, one day a biological plague will be loosed upon mankind and it may have no cure. The nanobots will be self replicating, immortal and life seeking. In order to make them work inside ourselves, they will have to detect and seek life. If by accident or design the nanobots decide to turn our cells into mush or to mutate us beyond mortal recognition, there may be little we can do to stop them. In theory they may be susceptible to electromagnetic pulse like those water robots in Matrix. Or we might be able to set good bots to catch the bad ones. Or we might make all nanobots very, very mortal. Make them die quickly like those androids in Blade Runner. Only quicker. In order to save mankind from this threat I think we will want the nanobots to live for considerably less time than a single day. Just enough time to get through the blood stream, locate and kill and cancer and no more. We would also need to equip them with an override off switch that will inert them instantaneously.

Some morons are cloning their pets for Pete's Sake. What's up with that? I think it's a hideously expensive frivolity to clone Fido. You won't get an exact copy of your mutt anyway since he is a product of his environment. What really scares me is that some third world dictator is having himself cloned as we speak. Remember these dudes are crazy and have no restrictions on their behavior within their own borders. If you truly thought you were God's perfect gift to mankind but knew yourself to be mortal, wouldn't you make more of you if you thought you could?

Then there was the "doctor" who installed triple K breasts into some woman's chest. I believe she at least had to leave the country to find some quack both greedy and evil enough to do the deed. I don't begrudge anyone a little nip/tuck or enhancement, but I am unconvinced that there is any medical necessity for getting your nose cut off or having air bags installed in your chest.