Thank You Captain Obvious(es)!

As long as there are celebrities on this planet, there are an endless amount of people doing stupid things. While we all do some crazy things from time to time, we can honestly say we have never cheated on our wives with a teenager or gotten arrested after driving drunk. Sadly, there are many celebrities who cannot say the same thing. As sad as that is, we have to admit that we always, and we mean ALWAYS, get a kick out of the post-mess-up apology. Without fail, those apologies are always the most obvious thing in the world, therefore adding to the hilarity.

Take, for instance, the recent case of Christie Brinkley vs. Peter Cook. Christie, you may remember, used to be a model and is also fairly well known for her marriage to singer Billy Joel. Christie recently went to court to publicly divorce fourth husband Peter Cook after finding out he had an affair with a teenage employee in his office. Suffice it to say, Christie was totally in the right, and Peter Cook appears to the entire world to be a gross jerk. In order to regain some of his dignity, Peter came out with these meaningful words post-court case: "I'm sorry for my marriage-ending affair."

Uh, okay slick. Did we really have to read about that on People News? Was it that slow of a news week that an entire story had to be devoted to Peter Cook's dumbass statement? Didn't Amy Winehouse punch someone this week? Even funnier is that he was actually interviewed on Fox News, where he told the interviewer that if he had the chance to do it again, he'd say, "No, I'm a married man." Heeheehee is all we have to say here. He's not the first man on Earth to have an affair, but he certainly may be the dumbest.

Another "Um, DUH!" moment comes courtesy of Mischa Barton. You may remember her little DUI incident a while back. It's about the only thing she's been in the news for recently. We're still majorly bitter at her for leaving The OC to help her 'career'. What career is that again exactly? She apologized for her actions last week, saying, "That was a low point for me. I never, ever would have thought I would be arrested. I was disappointed because it associated me with a group of girls that I would rather not be associated with."

What group of girls is that exactly? Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan? Well honey, you drank and you drove. You deserve to be associated with them. And you never thought you would be arrested? Idiot. We have to wonder, WHY do rich celebrities drink and drive??? If we had that much money we would hire a driver to take us around to the clubs.

Speaking of DUI arrests and apologies, let's not forget about Kiefer, Kiefer's the Man, Sutherland. He was arrested last year for drunk driving and actually spent 48 days in jail. Of his arrest he comments, "I made a really dumb mistake, and to be able to go back to work, which is something I feel comfortable doing, it's a safe place for me, I was grateful to have that opportunity."

This isn't the first time Kief's made a "dumb mistake." He had a separate DUI incident back in 2004. How many more mistakes will he make? No one knows for sure, but we're confident that he'll come out with some more obvious apologies.

While we don't condone affairs, arrests and DUIs, we are certainly happy when the outcomes lead to hilarious, obvious apologies. If celebrities mess up, we DEMAND an apology!