Thank You Obama Supporters

Fist and foremost, I want to congratulate all the Obama supporters who worked so diligently this campaign season to get their man elected. The catchy bumper stickers, the clever You Tube videos, and the endless contributions truly made the difference in this election. Without your dedication to researching the issues, soul-searching, and unbiased personal vetting of this great man, none of this would have been possible.

Barack Obama supporters really proved that if you spend countless hours on MTV.com message boards you too can become an effective political pundit. That giving your full and undivided support to a candidate doesn't necessarily mean you know anything about the issues, but that you vote with your heart. You proved how great the power of popularity is, that a man who literally has done nothing for his country can defeat a man who fought and nearly died for his country in a race for the most important job in the world.

The important thing to appreciate is that we now have an opportunity for "Change". No longer do we have to suffer under this terrible regime. No longer will be be forced to live in squalor and under such heinous persecution. Thanks to your hard work, we now have an opportunity to allow our government to do all the heavy lifting while we sit back and collect. It's about time we handed over more control to the government, seeing as they run businesses and balance budgets much better than we could ever imagine. And without your uproar over the Patriot Act, we would not have this opportunity to have a leader who believes in even more intrusive government interventions than simply wire-tapping known terrorists.

It's also warming to know that if I choose to run for President of the United States, all I need to do is promise you everything and convince P Diddy and Ludacris to give me "shout-outs" at every concert for a year, and you will vote for me. No longer am I worried about my past associations, because I now know that the American people just want me to be a great speaker. And I'm especially proud to see that the color of my skin will not be a hindrance in my earning votes of all races and genders.

Thank you Obama supporters for this great gift you have given me. Never again will I doubt the power of ineptitude.