Thanksgiving for Divorcees: How to Make it Through After a Divorce

Everyone has their Thanksgiving holiday traditions. Some people visit family, some people travel, and some people spend time helping others. If you have been married, you and your spouse probably have come up with a yearly tradition of how to spend Thanksgiving. Maybe one year you visit your folks and the next year you see your spouses. Or maybe you get Thanksgiving and your spouse gets Christmas, as for determining whose parents to visit each year. If there are children involved, they come into the decision making process. So what happens when you get divorced? You no longer have your spouse by your side to share in the Thanksgiving celebration. If you have no children, you have no one to cook for. What do you do? Here are ten tips.

1. If you are recently divorced, you are probably going through a period of loneliness. You're not sure what to do with yourself. It's too soon to start dating, because you still have hurt feelings. You don't really feel very positive about things, because you had hoped to spend your entire life with this person. It would have never mattered where you spent Thanksgiving or what you did, as long as you were with your spouse. The first tip is to reject loneliness. No matter what you do, don't sit at home by yourself. This is the worst thing you could do, as you'll just sit around and think about how sad you are. Get out and do something, even if you just visit a friend.

2. Resist the urge to drink alcohol and sulk. This is one challenge you may face as a divorcee. You may be tempted to drink your troubles away. If you're going through a rough time during the Thanksgiving holiday season, drinking will make things worse. At first, you may feel better as the alcohol helps you forget your feelings. However, when the alcohol wears off, you feel worse than before. Alcohol is a depressant, and it works to depress you even more than you are. To overcome this challenge, find something else to do that will take your mind off of the depression and make you feel better.

3. Do something nice for someone else. If you are feeling bad about yourself, try making someone else happy. You could call up a relative or friend who is also lonely, and make their Thanksgiving better. You could help out at a dinner for the homeless, or a turkey drive for those in need.

4. One challenge divorcees face is they no longer have someone to share the holidays with. If this is the case, think about what you used to do before you were married. Whatever it was, consider doing this for Thanksgiving. Maybe you went to your parents' house, or maybe you and some friends got together to see a movie. Bring back the good old days.

5. As a divorcee, you no longer have your inlaws. If you were close to your inlaws, and spent every Thanksgiving with them, try spending time with your family instead. If no one usually gets together, try and get them together.

6. Start your own Thanksgiving traditional get together. Invite some of your relatives and have your own Thanksgiving feast. Don't worry about what you used to do, just have fun doing something new.

7. Travel. If you can't stand to be around old familiar surroundings that remind you of your ex-spouse, get out of town. Go anywhere. Go to Florida to Disney World, go to Europe. You could even just take a day trip to the mountains. If you're in your same house as you lived in during the marriage, chances are, the memories will come back on holidays to haunt you. If you go somewhere else, you won't think about these memories as much.

8. Change your house. If you're thinking too much about your former spouse because you walk into the livingroom and remember the couch the two of you used to watch football games on together, change your home. Get a new sofa, get new wallpaper, get new tables. Make everything totally different. Then, the home will be all about you for you to create your own new memories. On Thanksgiving, you won't have to take a trip down memory lane because you've taken that old sofa to the dump.

9. Take a trip down memory lane. If you had a great marriage that ended suddenly, and you still treasure the times you had, you can spend Thanksgiving treasuring those memories. Dig out the old wedding photos, and conjure up memories of times you spent together on previous Thanksgiving. This one is only recommended if you're sure you can keep from getting too sentimental and getting upset about the divorce!

10. Let your kids decide. If you have children, and you are the parent who gets to have Thanksgiving, let the kids decide what you'll do. Let them play games with you, cook you Thanksgiving dinner, or any other creative idea they may have. If you are the parent who doesn't get Thanksgiving, this could be hard to deal with. Make some type of other plans on another day with your children to celebrate, and find time for yourself on Thanksgiving day itself. Get a massage or do something you enjoy by yourself.