Thanksgiving in Egypt

I am not only from THE city - New York City, I am from THEE (that's the way we say it) island - Long Island. Pronounced "Lon Guy Lan". When I graduated from high school I had to pick a college to go to. I wanted to get as far away from my parents as possible, but without leaving the state of New York, since I could not afford to pay out-of-state tuition for any college.

So I picked a college as far west as I could go in the state, State University of New York College at Fredonia. Yeah, Fredonia like in the Marx Brothers Movie 'Duck Soup'. The college goes by the initials SUNY College at Fredonia. We shortened that to SUC at Fredonia. And according to a lot of kids from THE city, it did suck at Fredonia!

The only saving grace was that, at the time I was a student, the drinking age in New York was eighteen, and Fredonia had a whole lot of bars to cater to all those thirsty and bored students. The town was once cited in a national magazine as having the most bars per capita in the country. (They only counted permanent residents, not college students, so that skewed the ratio a bit.)

I had heard horror stories about how much snow they got in the Buffalo, New York area, and Fredonia is in that area. But during the first half of the Fall semester of my freshman year the weather was great! I had never really seen such spectacular Fall foliage, when the leaves on the trees change from green to all of these intense reds, yellows, and golds. Purple even!

As Thanksgiving vacation approached I couldn't wait to get on the bus and head home to all my old friends and FOOD. Real New York City food! Home cooked meals! Real bagels. Pizza made the way God intended. A foot-long with the works! I planned to gain at least ten pounds over the vacation.

It turned cool that Monday. By Tuesday, when the bus was scheduled to take us to the promised land, it turned down right cold with a wind that went right through your coat and to your bones! What I did not know, because what kid watches the weather reports, is that there was a huge cold front sweeping in from Russia, down through Canada, heading right for Western New York. Lake Erie was free from ice, unusually warm for the time of year. I was unaware that when arctic-cold air meets warm moist air (like over Lake Erie) it causes what the locals call lake-effect snow storms. Everyone else calls them blizzards.

We got on the bus in a light dusting of snow. By the time our bus reached Buffalo it had become a "'flurry". We sat in the Buffalo bus station for an hour waiting for the bus to take us to Albany and then to New York City via the New York State Thruway. By the time our bus arrived and was ready to have us get on board, the snow was coming down pretty good. But, hey, we were headed AWAY from the lake. We'd be out of this white stuff in a little while.

We left Buffalo behind, but not the snow. It got worse. The bus driver told me that we were getting lake-effect snow from both Lake Erie and Lake Ontario. If we could make it to Syracuse we would be in the clear. As we got near Rochester it was a total white-out. The driver could have pulled off at a place called Henrietta, but he pushed on. It got worse. He finally took the first turn off he could find. The road sign was covered in snow, so we had no idea where we were. The road was a narrow valley with high walls of compacted snow and ice pushed up by the snow plows. It would be impossible to turn around. We had to go forward.

Pretty soon even the path cut by the snow plows was getting filled in by the wind blown snow. We got stuck. In the middle of NOWHERE. We were STUCK. We'd end up frozen schmuck-cicles!

The wind let up for a minute. We could see a light through the bare tree limbs. We were saved! We all got off the bus, took what backpacks and suitcases we could carry. The duffle bags full of dirty laundry we left on the bus, and we trudged through the snow toward the light. Isn't that what they tell you to do when you're dying, go to the light?

As we approached the light we saw a big house. It looked like the hotel from Psycho, only in brick. They call this style 'Neo-Italian Gothic'. I call it scary! But it was the house or freeze to death on the bus. The bus driver knocked on the door. A pretty blond wearing all white opened the door. She had beautiful blue eyes that were wide open. She looked like a frightened angel.

"Can I help you?"

This had to be the stupidest question ever asked. Could she help us?! No, we were trick or treating and lost our way since Halloween! Yes lady, you can help us! Let us in! I never really believed in the idea of dumb blonds, until that night.

The driver explained that our bus was stuck in the snow and we needed shelter for the night. As he explained it to this pretty blond, it sounded like the lead in to a farmer's daughter joke. The blond opened the door and let us in.

We entered a large open area. There was a big stone fire place with a roaring fire. The room was filled with antique furniture and antique people. The pretty blond was the only one we could see who was under seventy years old.

"Where are we?", the driver asked.

"You're in Egypt", the blond told him.

"Look lady, I may have taken a wrong turn back there, but I sure as hell did not drive to Egypt!"

"No, you're not in THAT Egypt! You're in Egypt, New York. And this is The Mumford Retirement Home. My name is Angela and I'm the nurse on duty for tonight."

We were all crowed by the door, looking in in shock.

One old woman heard the commotion and looked around the back of a high-backed chair. "Oh, how nice, company!"

With this the other residents turned and looked at us. To them we were probably a bunch of draft-dodging hippies.

"You look cold. Come by the fire and warm up"

"Oh goodie, young people!"

We were welcomed as if we were their children or grandchildren coming for a routine visit.

"Angela, they must be hungry. We need to get them something to eat."

Angela looked nervous. "The cooking staff went home hours ago. And there isn't that much left over from tonight's dinner."

"Well, dearie, said one old woman, "we can cook. Let's have Thanksgiving early! There's plenty of that sliced turkey and there's that stuff you call stuffing in the freezer, and we can open up some cans of cranberry sauce. . . "

"I can peel cut up some of those sweet potatoes they brought in yesterday."

"If they haven't got instant mashed potatoes in the cupboard, I can make some from scratch!"

"Oh, it's a party!"

One old man stared at us. Then he spoke, "You've gotta thaw out all that turkey before you can cook it. And you gotta thaw out these kids before they can eat it!"

"I'll make them some nice hot cocoa. I think we even have some marshmallows!"

"What these folks need is some booze to get their blood flowing!"

There was a flurry of activity as college students rummaged through backpacks and suitcases. Out came bottles of wine!

The old man shook his head. "You're gonna need something stronger that that to warm ya up!"

One stout elderly lady stood up. She had a big friendly smile and a slight German accent. "You boys bring that wine into the kitchen. I'll need your help opening those bottles. My hands cannot use a corkscrew anymore. I'll make you something that will warm you up!"

Several guys collected the wine bottles and followed the woman out of the living room.

"Gertie has her way of warming folks up, I have mine." An old man got up, left the room. He returned with a half full bottle of Jim Beam whiskey.

"Bobby, that won't do it. I got what will do the trick!" And that old man with a slight Italian accent got up, left and returned with a bottle without a label. "This is grappa! This will warm you up like swallowing a hot coal from the fireplace!"

"Vinnie, that stuff's nice for little old ladies. I got what they need" And with that an elderly man with few teeth and a Polish accent got up, left and returned. "Slivovitz! Fire in a bottle! You drink this and you can go out there and walk to Rochester!"

Angela was in shock. "Where did you people get alcohol?! No alcohol is allowed here! It's against the rules!"

The men smiled at each other. "Angela, we follow most of the rules, most of the time. But let's face it, it gets boring here. A little nip now and then never hurts!"

"But your medications! Alcohol can be a problem when you take your meds!"

"Donchu worry" Vinnie smiled. "We don't take our meds when we are gonna drink!"

Angela would have continued to argue with these unreformed alcoholics, but the door from the kitchen swung open and out came Gertie with a tray of coffee cups. Behind her were five boys, two with trays of sandwiches and three more, each carrying two insulated carafes. "This will warm them up!", Gertie announced.

"What is it?" asked Vinnie.

"Glühwein, hot spiced wine. In Germany, you can be frozen to the core from working out doors in the winter, or skiing - this will warm up a dead man!"

We all tried Gertie's hot spiced wine. It really worked. We went from shivering to sweating!

Gertie smiled like a contented grandmother, a hen with her chicks. "You boys can put away those bottles. They won't need them now!"

Angela looked at the old men with their booze bottles. "You'll put those back where you found them right?"

"Right."

"You won't bring those bottles out in the open again, right?"

"What bottles?"

"Right."

At that point the lights went out. The power lines had gone down due to an accumulation of snow on the lines.

Angela tried to calm the residents. "Not to worry. This house is heated with natural gas. And the stove is a gas stove."

One of the old guys spoke up. "Angie, the gas heat uses an electric fan and electronic ignition. When the power goes off. The furnace shuts down."

"It does?"

"It does."

Angela brought out flash lights and candles.

We wouldn't freeze in the dark. Now that we were warmed up, we sprang into action. Some students went with to the back porch and brought in arms-full of firewood. We would have fuel to last us through the night.

Some students moved furniture out of the living room.

Other students followed the residents to their bedrooms and brought out mattresses, sheets and blankets into the main living room. They built one big bed!

"A slumber party!" one old gal cried out. "I haven't been to one of those since before the war!"

Vinnie smiled, "Which war?"

Bobby shot back, "Revolutionary War!"

There was an upright piano in the corner. One of the students started to play Yankee Doodle on it.

"Do you know Melancholy Baby?" And student played the lead into the song.

Several of the residents began to sing the lyrics to the song. Before long they were playing and singing to tunes from World Wars I and II and the 40's and 50's! It WAS a party!

By 10 PM, the wine and sandwiches had made the residents and the students sleepy. They got in the big bed. They 'bundled'. That is, one person would sleep between the sheets, the next one would sleep on top of the sheets, and so on and so on. There wouldn't be any 'fooling around', modesty would be protected while body heat was being shared.

A girl's voice screamed out , "Vinnie, watch your hands!"

"Honey, I'm just feeling young again!"

"Feel it again and I'll find a creative place for your cane, you get me?"

"Yeah, I got it."

There were 'good nights' all around.

But this was a senior citizen center. It seemed like every few minutes someone had to get up to go to the bathroom. A candle was left burning in the bathroom, a beacon to lead those in need to their destination.

The next morning, power was restored. The Thanksgiving meal was prepared and shared. A good time was had by all. The snow plow came and cleared the way for our bus to turn around.

There were hugs and tearful goodbyes. For many at the home and also those on the bus, this had been the best Thanksgiving ever!

The bus finally made it into THE city to THEE island just in time for Thanksgiving. But it wasn't anywhere near as much fun as we'd had at the senior citizen center.

When I got back to SUC at Fredonia, one of the more affluent students was bragging to me about going to Bermuda for the vacation and how wild it was. Then he asked what I did on my vacation.

"I went to Egypt! Boy do those Egyptians know how to party!" That shut him up!