'That Guy' Revisited

ave been getting a lot of responses off-line as to who 'That Guy' actually is. Apparently, everybody has their own idea pertaining to the definition of 'That Guy.' Let us present the usual suspects:

'That Guy' Corporate

He plays the Game well, visibly aligning with superiors and dismissing all those at his level and beneath. Although his positioning within the firm may be equal to many; he genuinely believes that he is superior to his peers. On paper, his credentials are unrivaled: Northeast boarding school [Ex: Exeter/Andover], Ivy League education, community organizer, blood donor, etc. In addition to this stat sheet, he is impeccably dressed and is of good family stock.

'That Guy' Corporate has no heart.

He is a walking stiff, unable to improvise, and often loses himself while attempting to perform as a perfect citizen. He has followed a blueprint towards success, and trembles with paralysis at any deviation from the mean. Rather than looking inward, formulating solutions, and executing corrective strategy, 'That Guy' will lash out and blame others for his failures, while personally accepting all credit for his success.

'That Guy,' as a consequence of his imperfect attempt to achieve outward perfection is privy to scandal. Ex: Eliot Spitzer.

'That Guy' Street

Some people are forced into a life of true grit due to necessity. Others are merely enamored by the lifestyle. 'That Guy' Street inherently believes in embracing mayhem, regardless of any circumstance. He is indeed, a rebel without a cause.

'That Guy' is a Brown University graduate and thinks that he is a thug.

I recall a sullen freshman enrolled at The University of North Carolina, hailing from New Jersey. This gentleman represented with the standard uniform: White tee-shirt to the knees, baggy jeans, puffy coat, and random headgear. To the uninitiated, his credibility was based upon the following triumvirate: Northerner at a Southern school, street garb, and his embellished Yankee [NOO-YAWWK / JOII-ZEE] accent.

To the informed, he was a cupcake pretender.

I was familiar with the aforementioned individual - recognizing the fact that his parents were doctors and that he was raised in a suburban cul-de-sac.

Hip Hop attire is not a prerequisite to achieve 'That Guy' Street status. 'That Guy' Street is merely overly aggressive for no reason. He may exhibit a Napoleon Complex, or employ the bad boy tough-guy image as a means to pick up women.

Either way, this clown is inevitably exposed when the going really does get tough.

Ex: The Republican Party

'That Guy' Metro

This 'socialite' has been emboldened by today's metrosexual movement. 'That Guy' Metro inherently believes that he is the Sun to the solar system of all being. Yet, it is his outrageous antics that garner attention, at the expense of any credibility.

'That Guy' Metro is often a manifestation of shirked responsibility encountering an insatiable hunger to fit in. 'That Guy' strives for the impossible: be all things to all people. Metro may be the Black Sheep of the family - the antithesis to 'That Guy' Corporate. Contrary to Corporate's robotic embrace of a bullet-point outline to success, Metro deliberately casts aside all notions of protocol.

Armed with a bloated trust fund, fitted clothes, a techno MP3 playlist, and top-shelf vodka, 'That Guy' is ready to paint the town red. 'That Guy' will club hop until dawn, attempting to manufacture friends and score 'chicks.' In order to do so, Metro will showboat and flaunt whatever riches and status have come into his possession as if he were kin to a peacock. In spite of these efforts, the results are often fruitless.

His associates are often equally shallow, and will vanish the moment that the money stops flowing.

Division Street, Chicago is his primary habitat.

Conclusions

Never engage in doing business, nor forging relations with these sorts. There is a bit of 'That Guy' in all of us; but these negative personality traits are unbearable when observed in the extreme.