That was Some January 2008 We Just Had

Media watchers noted that only People Magazine was able to get to press with a Heath Ledger death cover just days after he died. Kudos, People, for managing to get out the story that everyone's already read about on the Internet.

On cable on The Situation Room, CNN's liberal political analyst Donna Brazile, formerly an advisor to Bill Clinton hinted that she was racially offended when the former President labeled Obama a "kid," and saying that some of Obama's claims are a "fairy tale." Unless the fairy tale was "Song of the South," nobody knows what she's talking about. Coincidently, when someone has to go really digging to get insulted on behalf of a whole race, well, that just offends me as a human being.

A Polish tabloid reported that a Warsaw man visited a brothel and was stunned to discover his wife working there although he had been getting suspicious because whenever he made love to his wife, afterward, she always called "Next!" And yet he was still the one who had some explaining to do.

Golf Channel anchor Kelly Tilghman was suspended after saying that today's young players should "lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley," if they have any hope of making it in the game. She apologized even after Woods' agent called the story a "non-issue" and pointed out that Tilghman and Woods are friends. But Al Sharpton is demanding she be fired because that's what he does. Which begs the question, "What's Al Sharpton doing watching the Golf Channel?" But people were questioning the fact that she made the comments on a Friday and the news didn't hit until the following Wednesday. But then you have to remember, the comments were made on The Golf Channel and who's watching that?

Actress Diane Keaton let slip the F-word on Good Morning America during a live interview with Diane Sawyer proving yet again with the writers on strike, actors got nothing. I mean, really, where did she think she was? Debating Barney Frank on the floor of Congress? Of course, HBO quickly signed her up for a new cable series and the Nixon White House offered her a job.

"American Idol" premiered again, but to its lowest ratings. Wow, who thought Americans would tire of bad singers and nut jobs being paraded before a panel of snarky judges?

Oprah Winfrey is launching her own TV network on satellite TV because one TV show is just not enough. They have already announced a number of programs, including, "I Remember Obama," "Barack to the Future," and "The Color Purple: The Series."

CBS announced that it will broadcast new episodes of "The Price is Right" in primetime to offset repeats caused by the writers strike. Which is ironic, since the price that was right to end the strike was 2 1/2 cents.

Late night talk show host and atheist Bill Maher stated on his show that he'd never give anyone the Bible to teach them morals and thinks five of the 10 commandments are stupid. Especially the one that says, "Thou shall not cross picket lines."

Then the Fox Network premiered its latest reality show, "Moment of Truth," where ordinary people are strapped to a lie detector and asked personal questions. Which sounds okay, I guess, but what we're waiting for "Political Moment of Truth."

Mr. Blackwell released his Worst-Dress list for 2007 and America yawned. But we were once again reminded that Mr. Blackwell is still alive.

Government climate officials say that a moderate La Nina, a weather front that brings wet conditions to the northern Rockies and dryness to the Southeast, will stay until spring. Experts say it is staying longer because California has offered it free schooling and a driver's license.

Britney Spears' family is accusing Dr. Phil of using Britney to get more publicity for himself. Dr. Phil was so outraged by this accusation he cancelled his subscription to Tiger Beat Magazine. Then Britney lost custody of her children when she abruptly left the courthouse where they held the hearing in her child-custody battle. Funny thing, running away from your kids will often give the impression that maybe you shouldn't have them.

The British research organization Target Group Index reports that so-called eco-warriors that extol the virtues of a green lifestyle are actually the worst polluters because they are still hooked on flying abroad or driving their cars while their adherence to the green cause is mostly limited to small gestures. My, Al Gore, what a big carbon footprint you have! The better to berate you with, my dear!

A fleet of Iranian high-speed boats charged at and threatened to blow up a three-ship U.S. Navy convoy passing through the Persian Gulf but backed off when they suddenly remembered Iranians don't fight face-to-face.

Your Government at Work

A special commission is urging the government to raise federal gasoline taxes by as much as 40 cents per gallon, noting the tax hasn't been raised since 1993. And, of course, we need to have taxes keep up with inflation.

The FDA is allowing the sale of meat and milk from clone animals, which I guess means twice the work now for PETA. Call me when they start cloning pizza.

After serving only a dozen years for 20 murders, the federal government paid hit man-turned-government witness John Martorano $20,000 cash upon his release to help him start a new life. Because bullets don't grow on trees, you know.

After blaming the Bush Administration for the collapse of the Minneapolis Highway bridge collapse, it turns out the bridge contained a design flaw built into it 40 years ago. So it was Lyndon Johnson's fault. Suck on that, Democrats!

An angry judge doubled O.J. Simpson's bail to $250,000 on Wednesday for violating terms of his original bail by attempting to contact a co-defendant in his armed robbery case. Said his lawyer, "We're going to have to sell a lot of sports memorabilia to get that much money."

An Associated Press reporter was harassing candidate Mitt Romney over his claim of having no lobbyists running his campaign. In a related story, Chris Matthews sent a bouquet of flowers to Hillary Clinton with a big "I'm sorry" card. And told her it won't happen again.

Money Matters

The market value of the American newspaper publishers entering 2008 as independent, publicly traded companies has fallen by 42%, since the end 2004. That's a loss of $23 billion. That's bad. That's like Federal budget bad.

In economic news, office equipment maker Xerox Corp. announced its profits rose 79 percent in the fourth quarter of 2007. Actually, their profits were up 1 percent, but they were able to make 78 copies of it.

A single trader fooled his at bosses French banking giant Societe Generale and caused a massive 7.15 billion dollar loss -- one of the biggest scams in financial history. Seven billion dollars. That's a lot of Freedom Fries.

Foreign investors have been on a buying spree in the U.S. stock markets, what with falling stock prices with all the skittishness in the wake of the credit crunch. But it's because the Chinese and Arabs see healthy long-term growth in this country. So, all you foreigners keep your people there and just sent money.

On her CBS News blog, "Evening News" anchor Katie Couric boasted of the media's ability to predict a recession, saying she's proud to say the media called it. Katie's being modest. She thinks they called it, while some think the media's doom and gloom reporting caused it.

The White House and Congress put together an emergency stimulus plan to calm fears of a possible recession which includes tax rebates of as much as $800 per person. So, don't spend it all in one place. Unless you have to fill up your car. But looking at your credit card bills, odds are you already have.

Despite constant media reports of a slowing job market, many companies are now forced to woo seniors to fill jobs as the baby boomers retire. Especially sought by companies? Old illegal immigrants.

Many tourist attractions in India are now refusing to accept American dollars as payment. Sure, they can take our jobs, but they can't take our dollars.

Republican aides on the Hill have raised questions about why the cafeterias now stock Stonyfield Farm yogurt, speculating that the move would line the pockets of the company's CEO, Gary Hirshberg, a significant player in Democratic politics. But it's probably only because Halliburton doesn't make yogurt.

Has it really been 10 years since the Monica Lewinsky scandal? Ten years; that's a lot of interns under the desk.

After a rocket attack on their country, Israel set up a blockade around Palestine. So then, masked Hamas agents blew up a 40-foot-high border barrier separating Egypt from the Gaza Strip and hundreds of thousands of Palestinians poured into Egypt to buy everything from camels and goats to TVs and cases of Coca-Cola. They were also able to get new rocks to use against Israeli tanks. With that much disposable income to spend, makes you wonder why Egypt has a fence up to keep them out. One farmer said "This is a key victory for Hamas. Because of the Zionist blockade, we couldn't even find coffins to bury our dead. Now I have a new TV."